Breathe For Love

I fail at updating… hahah. Sorry again about the wait.

Hope those who celebrated it had a great Thanksgiving! :)

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“You look very pretty today.” Hayley’s mother smiled.

“Thanks.” Hayley replied. She and Josh were having an end-of-summer barbecue before school started up again the following week. All their family and friends were there to celebrate.

Emily and Sarah had come over early that afternoon to help set up and Emily had insisted on curling Hayley’s hair and giving her a mini-makeover for no apparent reason. Hayley didn’t put up too much fight though, Emily was about to pop with her and Zac’s unborn baby and Hayley knew not to argue with anyone who was that pregnant.

“You look great, too.” Hayley commented to her mom. She felt underdressed compared to everyone else at the party. She was wearing jeans and a nice t-shirt while everyone else seemed to be in sundresses or semi-casual dress pants. Since when had she started wearing jeans and plain t-shirts over fun printed t-shirts?

“Momma, I done.” Ethan said excitedly, showing Hayley his empty plate. Oh, right, she was a mother now. Children came before style.

“Good job Eth.” Hayley praised.

“Talk now!” He demanded.

Josh laughed and pulled Ethan into his lap. “We’ll talk once everyone is done eating.” He explained. Zac looked over curiously and raised an eyebrow at his brother. Josh smiled in return but did not otherwise respond.

“Ok listen!” Ethan called out loudly. “Stop eatin’.”

“Apparently we’re telling now.” Hayley sighed quietly. Everyone turned around to look at the toddler and waited expectantly.

“They done.” Ethan grinned, turning to Josh and placing his tiny hands on his father’s cheeks. “You talk now.”

“Uh…” Josh said through a mouthful of cheeseburger. Hayley blushed and hid a smile beneath her napkin.

He swallowed his food and stood up, pulling Hayley and Ethan with him. “Uh, Hayley and I have an announcement…” He started, clearing his throat.

“And me!” Ethan added. Hayley laughed and kissed her son lightly on the cheek.

“You’re getting married?” Jonathan guessed. “Because that’s not really news.” He added, nodding toward the ring on Hayley’s finger. Josh glared at his brother and shook his head. They had never really made a formal announcement about their engagement, but everyone knew anyway.

“Well yeah, but that’s not exactly the announcement.” Hayley said with a quiet laugh.

“Do you wanna tell them?” Josh whispered quietly.

“No, you do it.” Hayley smiled. She could tell he wanted to be the one.

Josh took a deep breath and faced their family and friends once more. “We’re... having a baby.” He stated, not wanting to drag it out. By the time he finished the sentence, he could barely speak through the smile that had permanently plastered itself to his face.

The yard went deathly silent as everyone absorbed the information. A few people looked around, to be sure they hadn't misheard him. Hayley and Josh held their breath, hoping for a good response. “Yaaaaaaaay!” Ethan screamed happily.

“Oh my god!” Sarah called out excitedly soon after. In a matter of seconds, there was a mad rush of family and friends hurrying over to offer congratulations and dote on Hayley.

“How far along?” Hayley’s mother asked excitedly, pressing her hand to her daughter’s flat stomach.

“Just over three months.” Hayley replied. 

“What? Why didn’t you tell me!” She asked, obviously hurt.

“We didn’t tell anyone.” Josh answered. “Not even Ethan until yesterday. We didn’t want to hope too much…”

“Oh honey…” Josh’s mom frowned. “Everything will be fine this time around.” She assured.

“The doctor says everything looks great.” Hayley informed.

“When are you due?” Emily asked.

“February 4th.” Hayley replied happily.

“Ethan, are you excited?” Sarah asked the toddler with a smile. Ethan nodded. “Do you want a baby brother or a baby sister?” She continued.

Ethan frowned in thought and looked to Sarah with a smile. “Cookie.” He decided.

“Mommy can’t have a cookie, silly!” Hayley informed with a laugh. Ethan grinned proudly and began humming to himself. Josh set Ethan down on the ground and cleared his throat, raising an eyebrow at Emily as if to cue her.

“Oh!” She whispered. “So, is the wedding going to be before or after the baby?” She asked with a smile.

“We haven’t really talked about it yet.” Hayley shrugged. “I guess it’ll be next year. I always wanted a summer wedding and I suppose it’s a little late now.” She laughed.

“I think it’ll be pretty small too.” Josh added. “Just family and a few close friends.” Hayley nodded in agreement and rested her head on his shoulder.

“We should do it around this time next year.” Hayley noted as she looked around. “It’s always beautiful here in August.” Josh grinned happily and took a step back.

“Uh, Hayley… I have one more announcement.” He said nervously. Hayley looked over curiously and raised an eyebrow. “Well…. More of a question, really.” He sunk down to his knee and took Hayley’s hand in his own.

“Josh… what the hell are you doing?” Hayley whispered with a laugh.

“Hayley, will you marry me?” Josh asked with a grin. “Today?” Hayley’s face went white and she raised a hand to her mouth.

“What… but… we can’t.” Hayley stuttered.

“You just said yourself you wanted a small wedding in August.” He smiled. “If you want to do it today, I’ve got everything planned out.” he explained. Hayley looked around and realized everyone was smiling.

“You… you all knew didn’t you!” She accused with a smile, looking around. Now she knew why everyone seemed overly dressed. Hayley’s mother nodded in confirmation. “And that’s why you made me curl my hair!” Hayley laughed, pointing to Emily. Emily shrugged and winked.

“So…?” Josh asked.

“Say yes!” Sarah whispered encouragingly.

Hayley bit her lip and nodded. “Oh my gosh!” She gasped. Josh hopped up and hugged her tightly. “Are we really going to do this?” She asked quietly. Josh nodded and kissed her.

“Doin’ what?” Ethan asked curiously as he walked back over from the sandbox he had been preoccupied with.

“Your Mommy and Daddy are getting married today.” Sarah explained.

Ethan scoffed and shook his head. “They alweady are!” He said, placing his hands on his hips knowingly. “I said so.”

“We’re gonna get married again.” Josh explained, crouching down to Ethan’s level. “This time with Pastor Steve.”

“Oh.” Ethan replied simply. “Pasto Steve! Ok, I will be here.” He said with a shrug.

“Alright.” Hayley nodded with a smile. "Thank you. Ethan."

“Come on Hayles, we don’t have much time before it starts to get dark.” Emily said, pulling Hayley toward the house gently.

~*~

“Oh my gosh.” Hayley gasped as Emily, Sarah and her mother uncovered her eyes to reveal the wedding dress her mother had picked up for her.

“Josh hasn’t seen it yet.” Sarah informed. “But he said you had been eyeing it nearly every day for the past few months.”

“What do you think?” Emily asked excitedly. After a few seconds of no reply, everyone turned around to look at Hayley.

“Oh honey!” Her mom laughed. Tears were streaming down Hayley’s face, though she was desperately trying to wipe them away.

“Oh my gosh…” Hayley whispered, voice shaky. “It’s beautiful!” Hayley hugged her mother and heard a distinctive click from the doorway.

“Brandon’s here.” Sarah laughed. Hayley looked up to see Brandon in the doorway with his camera at the ready.

“Oh! Free photographer!” Hayley giggled. More clicks filled the room as he took a few photos of Hayley and the simple white dress hanging from a hanger in the center of the room.

“Mr. Chesbro at your service.” Brandon said, bowing deeply. “I’m gonna go take a few pictures of Mr. Groom getting ready while you change.” He informed.

“Alright.” Hayley smiled. “Thank you Brandon.” She said sincerely.

“You’re gonna be a beautiful bride.” He replied. “See you soon!”

~*~

The next time Hayley walked into the backyard, it had magically transformed into a beautiful wedding scene. There were a few white chairs lined up for guests to sit in and a simple archway in the middle of the aisle where the Pastor, Josh and Ethan were waiting.

Josh’s breath caught in his throat as he finally saw Hayley make her way toward the group in her dress. She looked absolutely gorgeous. The simple white dress clung to her curves and fit her like a glove. Her hair had been re-curled in big waves and it hung loosely at her shoulders. For an hour’s work, and a surprise wedding, she did a damn good job of turning herself into a bride.

Hayley felt tears sting at her eyes when she saw Josh. They were finally getting married. After all these years, they would be united together forever. Thinking back on the last few months made her head spin. Everything had happened so quickly. But she knew it was right. Even though they had only officially been together for eight months, anyone could see this was right.

The wedding ceremony itself was very short and sweet, though Ethan had managed to throw in his own little twists.

“Me too!” He had called out when Josh ‘kissed the bride’. Josh had picked him up and held the toddler on his hip while he and Hayley each kissed his cheek. Right after, he had wriggled down to the ground and announced it was “time to potty” which in Ethan language, meant party.

 

“So, was this really ok?” Josh asked, worried, when he and his wife finally got a moment of privacy among the music that now blared through their backyard in the dusk.

“It was perfect, Josh!” Hayley grinned. “How the hell did you plan this without me knowing?” She giggled.

“You really had no idea?” Josh questioned. Hayley shook her head honestly and pulled him close, swaying along to the music. “Wow, Emily can keep a secret better than I thought.” He mumbled.

Hayley laughed gently and rested her head on Josh’s shoulder, breathing him in deeply. “Mmm, you smell good.” She noted.

“And you look amazing.” He whispered. “Seriously. You are the most beautiful person on the planet.” Hayley rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Really!” Josh insisted.

“Momma! I wanna go to the paygwound” Ethan sang, running toward Hayley. “I wanna go to the umm paygwound” He repeated.

“At least we had half a second.” Hayley mumbled against Josh’s lips.

"We'll have all night tonight." Josh replied, raising an eyebrow. "My mother is taking him." Hayley laughed quietly and kissed him sweetly before turning her attention to Ethan.

“We're not going to the park tonight Eth, everyone is playing here and it’s almost bedtime.” Hayley explained.

“But I wanna!” Ethan pouted. “Momma! I wannaaaa!” He whined.

“We’ll go tomorrow.” Hayley bargained.

“Daddy!” Ethan huffed, turning to Josh.

“Tomorrow, EJ.” Josh said sternly.

“No now!” He wailed, tears instantly springing to his eyes.

“That’s my bad!” Izzie called from one side of the yard. “Sorry.” She hurried over to see what she could do about Ethan.

“What?” Josh asked, confused.

“He may or may not have overheard me say that Bekah and her husband walked down the street to the park.” She explained. “Hey, Ethan! Want to read a book with me?”

Ethan’s wails stopped almost instantly. “Ok.” He smiled.

“You goober!” Hayley laughed. “You weren’t even crying!”

Ethan giggled and twisted his hands together. “Gooba!” He repeated.  “Etan gooba.”

“Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Farro.” Zac smiled as he walked over. Hayley grinned at the the name. “Emily and I are gonna head out. She’s not feeling too great.”

“Ok.” Josh replied. “Thanks again for everything, bro.”

“No problem.” Zac grinned.

“Thank you.” Hayley echoed, hugging Zac tightly.

“You’re welcome, little sis.” Zac replied. “Congratulations!”

“Big sis.” Hayley corrected.

Zac place a hand on her head and raised an eyebrow. “Little sis.” He repeated, referring to her height.

“Oh my gosh.” Emily gasped quietly. Hayley turned around curiously, but was distracted by Ethan.

“Mommy! Look!” He called from across the yard. Isabelle was holding him out in the air, spinning him in circles.

“Wow! You’re like an airplane!” Hayley replied.

“Zac!” Emily said, alarmed.

“What? What is it?” Zac said, instantly worried.

“I either just peed my pants or the baby’s coming.” She said shakily. Hayley gasped as she saw a small puddle in the grass at Emily’s feet.

“B-b-baby?” Zac stuttered.

“It’s time!” Emily smiled.

“Oh my god!” 

---

oooooo so much excitement! lol. 

...I feel like I forgot something major in this chapter... hmm.

Only a few more chapters left I'm afraid! :/ And at least one more Joshayley fight! Uh ohhhhhhhh!! Teehee

…bleh… haha. I feel like crap today and I’m not particularly thrilled with this chapter, but I wanted to post SOMETHING since I haven’t in over a week, lol.

Sorry it took so long, I just haven’t been in the writing mood this past week :/ that always happens after I post a chapter I’m really excited about, hahaha. 

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“What would you like to bring with you for lunch, EJ?” Hayley asked. It was seven in the morning, and she was desperately trying to get the toddler ready for daycare before she had to go to work.

“Tuna!” Ethan replied excitedly.

“Tuna…” Hayley sighed. “Of course. Alright, why don’t you go play and I’ll get your lunch ready.” Ethan nodded and ran for the playroom while Hayley grabbed a can of tuna fish from the pantry.

“What are you doing?” Josh asked as he walked into the kitchen, hair disheveled from sleep.

“Ethan wants tuna for lunch.” Hayley sighed. She glared at the can as if it was her mortal enemy and took a few deep breaths. “Ok, I can do this.” She told herself, though she was already feeling a bit queasy. Fish and Hayley didn’t get along while she was pregnant.

“Hayles, you don’t have to make tuna.” Josh yawned. “He’ll be just as happy with peanut butter and jelly.”

“He said tuna, I’m making him tuna.” Hayley said, determined. She pulled the tab on the container up and peeled it back a few centimeters. “Oh boy…” She mumbled, taking a few steps back. “Ok, I’m not making him tuna. Will you please do it?” She asked. She shut her eyes and took a few deep breaths, trying to ward off her nausea. Being pregnant sucked. Josh immediately felt his stomach flip, but he steadied himself fairly quickly.

“Hayley, you don’t have to make him a tuna fish sandwich!” He insisted, though he walked over to the counter to take over anyway. “If it makes you feel sick, don’t do it!”

“Just make him the god damned tuna, Josh!” Hayley spat.

“I am! Geez, Hayley!” Josh snapped back. He ripped the lid off and waived it in the air. “There, see?” He added angrily.

“Oh no…” Hayley gasped as the smell of fish wafted over to her from Josh waiving the lid around.

“Shit!” Josh winced. “Hayley! I’m sorry!” He called after her as she ran to the bathroom with her hand over her mouth.

“Hi Dada.” Ethan greeted as he walked into the kitchen. “Mommy?” He asked, pointing to the bathroom.

“Yep, Momma’s in the bathroom.” Josh answered, concentrating on not feeling nauseous himself and finishing the sandwich before Hayley returned.

“Oh, no! Eth! Lets let Mommy have some privacy.” Josh said as he rushed over to the bathroom door Ethan had been about to open. Ethan looked up at his father, confused. There was no such thing as ‘privacy’ in this house.

“Want to help me turn on the fan?” Josh asked. Ethan grinned and nodded. Josh picked him up and placed a small fan in the kitchen window. He let Ethan turn it on and prayed that it would get rid of the smell of fish so he and Hayley both might feel a bit better.

Hayley had been throwing up constantly. And, to be honest, Josh really hadn’t been expecting the vomiting to be quite this bad. He also hadn’t expected to feel dangerously nauseous every time Hayley was sick. Even if Hayley wasn’t around in the morning, he still felt a bit nauseous.

He had always thought morning sickness was a once a day thing that happened every few days. But as Hayley got further along in the pregnancy, the morning sickness got worse and worse. And it didn’t only happen in the morning… go figure.

He was getting quite worried about the situation – brushing your teeth in the morning while your fiancée randomly leaps out of the shower to be violently sick was not his idea of morning sickness – but Hayley assured him that this was in fact normal.

“Hey guys…” Hayley sighed as she reappeared from the bathroom. Josh quickly shoved the tuna fish sandwich into a plastic bag and hid it out of sight. Hayley laughed quietly and walked over to the sink to rinse her mouth with water. She looked exhausted.

“Hey Ethan, do you want to play in the back yard before you go to Ms. Kelly’s?” Josh asked. Ethan grinned and Josh opened the door to let him outside.

“Come on, Dada!” Ethan urged as he walked outside.

“I’m gonna finish getting lunch ready. I’ll be right inside watching you, ok?” Josh said. Ethan frowned thoughtfully before nodding his approval. He headed for the sandbox in the backyard and began digging around happily.

“How are you feeling?” Josh asked carefully, turning his attention to Hayley. She was leaning over the sink, grasping the edges of the counter so tightly that her knuckles were white. Once again, he had to take a few deep breaths to calm his stomach.

“I can’t do this!” Hayley gasped, tears already running down her face. “I hate being sick. I fucking hate it!” She nearly yelled.

“Shhh!” Josh soothed. He took a step toward her and rubbed her back gently.

“Don’t touch me.” She spat. Josh backed away, hands in the air. Hayley took a few calming breaths and sighed as the nausea finally began to pass.

“I’m sorry.” She mumbled.

“It’s ok.” Josh assured. He took a hesitant step toward her again and she buried her head in his chest.

“Josh. I really don’t think I can do this again!” She sighed. “I’m so tired.”

“Hayley, you are the strongest woman I know. You can get through this. It’s only a few more weeks before the morning sickness should start to go away.”

“A few more weeks Josh!” She spat. “I can’t handle this for a few more days!”

“I know…” He sighed. “Me either.”

“Oh yeah! How are you feeling?” She asked, glancing at him knowingly.

“I’m fine!” He lied, as his stomach churned dangerously. It had only taken Hayley a few days to catch on the fact that he felt sick when she did.

“Uh huh.” She teased. “Just admit it, you have sympathy morning sickness.” She grinned.

“I do not.” Josh defended. “I just… don’t like it when people are sick.” He mumbled.

“Oh riiiight.” Hayley said, rolling her eyes. “That’s why you laughed at Zac last time he was sick.”

“Hey, I told him he shouldn’t drink milk that fast.” Josh replied with a smile.

“Admit it! You’re having sympathy morning sickness!” Hayley sang. Josh didn’t reply. He simply crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow.

“Well, I think it’s cute.” Hayley smiled, resting her head on his shoulder. “It happens to lots of guys when their wives get pregnant. And at least it’s only sympathy morning sickness.” Josh scoffed and shook his head.

Hayley turned to get Ethan’s lunch in a lunchbox and instantly went pale when she picked up the sandwich. “You have got to be fucking kidding me.” She mumbled, pressing an already sweaty palm to her head. Josh hurried to her and took over, placing the sandwich in the lunchbox and zipping it closed. At least his ‘sympathy nausea’, or whatever Hayley called it, didn’t actually make him vomit. Or at least it hadn’t yet…

He looked at her and frowned, she didn’t look like she was going to be sick again, but she was definitely on the verge of tears. He pulled her to him and hugged her gently. They were both silent for a few minutes while Josh rubbed Hayley’s back soothingly.

“I think you need a day off.” He said thoughtfully. He reached for the phone and began to dial the Salon’s phone number.

“Josh, no.” Hayley mumbled. “I can’t take a day off just because I’m not feeling great. If that were possible, I would never be at work.”

“You have an appointment today anyway.” Josh pointed out. This appointment was a very important appointment. It had been almost three months since Hayley had gotten pregnant.

No one knew that Hayley was pregnant, not even Ethan. She and Josh had both agreed to keep quiet about the pregnancy until the risk of miscarriage went down a bit. Today, if everything looked good, they could finally tell everyone.

“I’m sure they’ll understand if you call out.” Josh continued.

“I only have three consults today, it won’t take…”

“Exactly. Only three. Someone else can handle them.” He cut in. “I’m calling them.”

“Josh no!” Hayley insisted.

“Too late!” Josh teased, holding the phone to his ear.

“Jooooosh!” Hayley complained. She reached up to take the phone away but Josh held her back. Hayley giggled and jumped to try to grab the phone once more.

“Hey, yeah, this is Josh. I just wanted to let you know that Hayley’s not feeling too well today. Ah!” He gasped as Hayley finally grabbed his arm and tried to pry the phone away from his ear. “She won’t be able to come in, I’m afraid!” He continued as the phone finally got pulled away from his ear a bit. “Can someone take over her make-up consults for the day?”

“Josh!” Hayley whined quietly, finally giving up.

“Ok, great!” Josh said into the phone. “Uh huh, yeah, I’ll be sure to let her know. She’ll see you tomorrow. Bye!”

“Josh! You didn’t have to do that.”  Hayley pouted.

“Tamara says to get lots of rest and feel better.” Josh said, ignoring Hayley. “So, why don’t you go lay down for a bit. I’ll take Ethan to daycare and then you’ll have the morning to relax before we go to the doctor’s.” He suggested. Hayley sighed and hugged Josh.

“Thank you.” She mumbled into his chest.

“No, thank you.” He replied, rubbing her still-flat stomach lightly. Hayley rolled her eyes and laughed.

“Dork.” She accused, kissing him softly.

“Sexy.” Josh shot back before licking her lower lip and ultimately silencing any further replies. Hayley grinned into the kiss and allowed her tongue to play with his lip ring. Josh groaned quietly and pulled her closer, deepening their kiss.

“You’re supposed to be watching Ethan.” Hayley reminded quietly. “You’re not being a very good dad.” She teased.

“He’s in the sandbox Hayles, how much damage can he possibly do?” Josh replied, placing a few kisses on her neck.

“You tell me!” Hayley laughed. “He’s your son. You should know he can always find ways to hurt himself.”

Josh hesitated for a few seconds and shrugged. “True.” He sighed. “Geez, I see how it is. Making me be a responsible parent and all…” He said sarcastically.

“Look! He’s fine.” He added, pointing out the window.

“Great, then why don’t you get him ready for daycare.” Hayley said, sticking her tongue out teasingly.

“Yeah, yeah…” Josh sighed dramatically as he headed for the backyard.

---

More Ethan in the next chapter! :) (which will hopefully be posted a LOT faster! Hah)

Sorry he wasn’t in this one too much.

I just wanted to say, like most authors, I spend a lot of time on my stories to try to make them unique and fun to read. And I am particularly proud of Your Own Disaster.

I put so much time into coming up with a plotline and researching background information for this story and look into how babies and toddlers act, how parents react and deal with toddlers, how pregnancies work and blah, blah, blah. Seriously, hours of research here, haha.

Like I said, most authors dedicate a lot of time to their stories. Please respect that.

When you write, be original. If you do see another author come up with an idea or even a background plot that you love that much ask permission to use that idea and really try to make that idea your own. Change it up! Make it your idea. Don’t just flat out copy it, changing only a few small details. Also be sure to give credit where credit is due.

I’ve seen a few authors go through people taking their ideas (whether it is intentional or unintentional), almost word for word at times, and it really isn’t fair. Thankfully, it doesn't happen all too often here (at least, not that I see) and most stories on buzznet are all very unique and completely original. But even if ideas are not taken ‘word for word’ it still feels pretty crappy when ideas are used and not changed up much. 

If you get inspiration from another person’s idea and completely make it your own, that’s a different story. I’m totally cool with that.

And that is all

   I’m going to say

        about that.

            K bye. :)

So, I have to say, I was pretty entertained by the comments on the last chapter. They made me smile.

You all rock and make me want to write more. :) Thank youuuu!!!

---

Hayley stood up and paced around the living room, trying to calm herself down. She debated picking up the phone to call Sarah for a round of ass kicking, but in the end she decided to wait until she knew exactly what Josh was going to do. Knowing him, he could be working up some grand scheme of how to welcome the idea of a baby or he could be plotting his escape. It was hard to tell with him.

When she heard his footsteps move toward the stairs, she began thinking up what she was going to say to him. Even if he did end up coming down and being happy about the baby, she was still angry. Because, even if he did end up being alright with the situation, he had still walked away, leaving her alone and confused.

It was then that Hayley realized disappointed she was in him. She was so sure that he would be overjoyed at the news this time. But no, he had jumped at the chance to get away from her when Ethan cried. Maybe he hadn’t changed over the years as much as she thought he had.

“Come on, it’s ok.” Hayley heard Josh say as he descended. She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion and scowled when she realized he was bringing Ethan downstairs. Of course he had to bring Ethan down. Of course he had to have some sort of buffer so he didn’t have to talk about the baby.

Hayley was furious.

“Momma!” Ethan smiled tiredly when he and Josh entered the living room. Hayley plastered a fake smile on her face and took him from Josh.

“Hey buddy! Why are you up?” She asked. He shrugged and squirmed his way down to the floor to play with a nearby wooden puzzle set.

“Josh, if you leave me again I will fucking kill you.” Hayley whispered threateningly into his ear. Josh took a step back and raised his hands in the air innocently.

“Hey, I’m still here aren’t I?” He asked. Hayley rolled her eyes angrily and ran her fingers through her hair. Josh bit his lip and coughed to hide a laugh.

“What?” Hayley spat quietly. “What is so fucking funny?”

“You get mad too easily.” He replied with a barely contained smile. "Have some faith." Hayley clenched her hands into fists and bit her tongue to keep from yelling. She felt like she wanted to smack him upside the head for being so frustrating.

"It's hard to have faith when you do the exact same thing you did last time this happened." Hayley reminded rudely. 

Just in time to ease the situation, Ethan sneezed loudly, hitting his head on the couch from the force behind the sneeze. He froze, staring at the couch in shock and then turned around to look at his parents. His face clearly said ‘what the hell just happened?’ Josh snorted quietly and doubled over, laughing hard. Hayley bit her lip and tried her best not to laugh at her son.

Ethan cocked his head to the side and watched Josh who was laughing loudly now. A grin passed over the toddler’s face as he finally realized he had done something funny and he turned back to the couch, taking a nosedive into it. Hayley watched Josh in astonishment as he laughed harder. Suddenly the situation wasn’t funny at all anymore.

Josh was laughing too hard. He only laughed like this if he was nervous. He must be planning on leaving again. Or at least breaking up.  Hayley’s heart sank and she shut her eyes in hopes that when she reopened them everything would be ok.

But, of course, she had no such luck. She opened her eyes to see Ethan repeating his nosedive into the couch cushions over and over again to Josh’s amusement.

“Ok no. Ethan, stop.” Hayley said, gently pulling the toddler away from the couch. “Come on, you should be in bed, Eth."

“Dada said no.” Ethan frowned. Hayley glared at Josh, who covered his mouth with his hand to hide a smile.

“Come here EJ.” Josh said. Ethan grinned and hurried over to his father.

“Now Dada?” He asked as Josh sunk to his knees to get to Ethan’s level.

“Yep. You know what to do?” Josh asked. Ethan nodded and puffed out his chest proudly.

“Momma!” He said importantly.

“What?” Hayley asked, confused. Ethan twisted his hands together and looked up at her shyly.  He covered his face with his tiny hands and squealed, turning back to Josh. "You say, Dada."

“No! You can do it!” Josh encouraged. “Come on, it will make Mommy smile.” Hayley’s anger toward Josh was slowly being replaced with curiosity as she watched Josh whisper to their son.

“Ethan wants to ask you something.” Josh explained once he was done whispering. He gently pushed the suddenly shy toddler toward Hayley and nodded at him to go ahead.

“Get down, just like we practiced upstairs.” He reminded. Ethan giggled and got down on his knees.

“Momma?” Ethan asked quietly.

“Yes, baby?” Hayley asked hesitantly. Her heart was racing now, but she wasn’t entirely sure why. Josh scooted closer to Ethan and rested his hands on the toddler’s shoulders lightly.

Ethan turned to look at Josh once more for reassurance. Josh smiled back at him and nodded encouragingly. “Go ahead!” He urged.

“Momma, will you mawwy us?” Ethan asked with a smile.

Hayley inhaled sharply and raised her hand to her mouth. Her skin broke out in goosebumps and her heart stopped. “Wh-what?” She gasped, looking at Josh. He shrugged nervously and nodded down toward Ethan. She looked at her son and tears instantly spilled over her cheeks.

Ethan was holding out a silver diamond ring for her. “Will you mawwy us, Momma?” He repeated, looking hopeful. “Pwease?”

A sob escaped Hayley’s throat and she sunk down to her knees slowly. Ethan’s eyes went wide and he looked alarmed when he realized Hayley was crying. He dropped the ring and hurried to his mother.

“Is ok Momma! Dada’s not dat bad.” He said comfortingly, patting her arm lightly.

Hayley let out a short, barking laugh through her tears while Josh chuckled nervously. Hayley wiped away her tears and put an arm around Ethan.

“Seriously?” She choked out, looking at Josh. She had to be dreaming.

“No last minute ring this time.” Josh said quietly. “This one has been in the closet for months, behind that photo album you were so adamant about getting all by yourself a few weeks ago.” Hayley laughed quietly and pushed her hair behind her ear with a shaky hand. “I’ve been planning on asking for a while. I was just waiting for the right time.” He scooted closer to her and picked up the ring Ethan had dropped.

He lifted one knee off the ground, so he was kneeling properly in front of her, and held the ring out once more. “So, will you marry me?”

“Us!” Ethan corrected angrily.

“Sorry, will you marry us?” Josh asked with a smile.

“Juss say yesssss!” Ethan complained. Hayley laughed and nodded happily, throwing her arms around Josh’s neck. Josh bit his lip and grinned happily.

“Told you I'd say yes the next time you proposed.” She mumbled into his shoulder with a smile. Josh laughed quietly and hugged Hayley tight. In that moment, he was the happiest man on the planet.

“Second time’s a charm!” He whispered, jokingly.

“Shut up.” Hayley replied with a laugh.

“Dada, you have to kiss da bide now!” Ethan reminded impatiently as his parents broke apart from their hug. Josh smiled and did as he was told, kissing Hayley sweetly.

“Done!” Ethan ordered after a few seconds. “Etan’s turn.” Hayley laughed, and bent down so Ethan could plant a sloppy kiss on her cheek.

“Now we mawwied.” Ethan informed with a smile. “Wea family now.”

“We’ve always been a family, Eth.” Josh explained.

“Wea family again.” Ethan corrected with a shrug. “Gee Dada!” He added, as if the fact was obvious.

“Oh, I see.” Josh replied. He had learned quickly not to argue with toddler logic.

“Oh my gosh…” Hayley whispered as she looked at the ring that was still in Josh’s hands. “Is this really happening?” Josh smiled and nodded. He took her shaky hand into his own and slipped the ring on her finger. It fit perfectly.

“I wanna do it!” Ethan complained as he watched. His lower lip began to tremble and before long he was crying.

“Ok, I think it’s time for bed, mister cranky pants.” Hayley said quietly to her son. Ethan shook his head no, but raised his arms in the air to be picked up.

“I’ll do it!” Josh said quickly.

“It’s ok.” Hayley said. “The ‘no heavy lifting’ rule isn’t in effect yet.” She smiled, referring to the fact that she might be pregnant.

 

After they got Ethan settled once more, Josh and Hayley walked into their bedroom. The second their door snapped shut, their lips met in a needy kiss. Their hands roamed each other’s bodies urgently and soft moans escaped their lips.

“We’re engaged!” Hayley giggled excitedly.

“Yes we are.” Josh replied, voice husky. He lifted her into the air with ease and walked toward the bed.

“And we might be having a bab-ohh!” She gasped as he bit her neck gently.

“Oh, the baby!” Josh said happily, suddenly more excited about a potential baby than what they were about to do. He had nearly forgotten. “Lets find out!” He said. He stood up and began digging around in the closet for some shoes.

“You sir, are crazy.” Hayley laughed. “We’ll find out at the doctor’s office tomorrow.”

“Yeah, well, I’m impatient. You should know that by now.” Josh replied. “I’m gonna go get one of those home tests.” He smiled excitedly. “And if you’re not pregnant, we can try to get you pregnant tonight!” He added with a wink. Hayley laughed and stopped him before he could get out the bedroom door.

“Hold on there speedy.” She laughed. She walked into the master bathroom and pulled out a pregnancy test from a cabinet under the sink.

“You have one already?” Josh asked curiously.

“It’s left over from the box I got… last time.” She said quietly. She hated thinking about the miscarriage.

Josh got very quiet and hugged her gently. “It’ll work out this time.” He whispered. “I promise. Last time just wasn't meant to be.”

“I know…” Hayley sighed. “Now scoot!” She said, pushing him out of the bathroom. Josh did as he was told and sat on the bed, waiting nervously.

 

He looked up eagerly when she reappeared from the bathroom moments later and bit his lip, playing with his lip ring anxiously. Hayley smiled faintly as she took in the look on his face. For once, he wasn’t able to keep the stone face he normally held, though he was trying like mad to show no emotion. There was no hiding the look of hope and excitement in his eyes.

“So?” He asked quietly. Hayley smiled and held up the test, nodding.

“Yes.” She said happily.

“YES!” Josh yelped loudly. Hayley jumped in surprise and grinned widely. He ran over and lifted her into the air, kissing her happily. “I’m gonna be a husband and a new Daddy.”

Hayley giggled and kissed him. “Finally.” She whispered. “Its finally our turn.”

“For what?” Josh asked curiously.

“For happiness.”  Hayley explained.

“Red, we don’t have to get married and have another baby to be happy. I have always been happy when I am with you and Ethan.” Josh whispered. “And I think you have too.” He added. “The rest is just bonus ‘happy’.” Hayley chuckled softly and nodded before kissing her husband-to-be. Things were finally going smoothly for her and her family. No more Josh and Hayley disasters. She couldn’t have been happier.

---

:D :D :D

I rewrote this so. many. times. (and probably missed a bunch of spelling/grammar stuff) !!!!!!!! hahaha.

idk when the next update will be :/ hopefully sometime toward the middle of this week. 

ilikethischapter ^.^

This is in two parts again, because A) it would be ridiculously long if I kept this all as one chapter and B) because I’m mean like that :D

---

“Josh.” Hayley whispered. “Wakey wakey!” She giggled, poking his side gently.

“Noooo.” Josh groaned. He rolled away from her and sighed in his semi-awake state. “Come on, you have to get up.” She whispered. “Last day of work for the summer, remember?” She added. She kissed his neck softly and felt him tense up beneath her.

“That is how you wake a guy up.” Josh mumbled happily. It had been too long since she had kissed his neck like that. He pulled her head up to his gently and kissed her.

“Daddy!” Ethan called from outside.

“And that is why I never get woken up like this.” Josh pouted. Hayley giggled and rolled away before Ethan came barging in.

“Daddy! No mow school!” Ethan yelped excitedly. Josh helped him onto the bed and smiled.

“That’s right!” He praised. “We get to spend all day together tomorrow.”

“Momma too.” Ethan said.

“No, baby, I have to work.” Hayley repeated for at least the tenth time. Ethan frowned and crossed his arms.

“Hey! We’ll have a boy’s day.” Josh smiled.

“Boy stay?” Ethan pondered.

“Just you and me.” Josh explained. “And we can do something special for Mommy while she’s at work.”

“Yeah!” Ethan said excitedly. “Boy stay!” Hayley laughed and rested her head on top of Ethan’s lightly.

“Remind me why he still has to go to daycare this summer?” Josh asked with a small frown. “I can watch him.”

“Because he has to stay with his friends.” Hayley said. “You want to see Catherine don’t you Eth?”

“Cafwine!” Ethan grinned happily. “Cafwine is my fwiend.”

“Ah, right, he has to ‘socialize’ like a normal kid.” Josh said, rolling his eyes sarcastically.

“He does.” Hayley replied. She kissed her boys and crawled out of bed to take a quick shower.

The second she stood up, a wave of nausea swept over her. Why did seafood always mess with her stomach the morning after she ate it? She pressed her hand to her head and took a few deep breaths, willing herself not to vomit all over the cream carpet in the bedroom.

“You alright?” Josh asked with a frown when he saw her. Hayley nodded and forced a smile.

“Yeah.” She replied when she gained control over the nausea. “Yeah, just got dizzy for a minute.” She ruffled Ethan’s hair to show the toddler she was fine and hurried to the bathroom for her shower.

~*~

“Jenny, I have fifteen minutes until my next appointment gets here, I’m just going to grab something to eat. Let me know if someone calls.” Hayley said, talking to her coworker.

“Sure thing.” Jenny replied. Hayley walked across the small salon she worked in and entered the break room.

“What is that smell?” Hayley said, scrunching her nose.

“Oh, that’s my burrito, sorry.” Tamera, another coworker, explained. Hayley curled her lip slightly and opened the refrigerator to find her lunch.

As the smell of burrito buried itself deeper in her nose, Hayley began to feel a bit queasy and she had to fan herself a bit as the room suddenly felt overly warm. Although, her reaction wasn’t normally quite this bad, she hadn’t been able to stand the scent of burritos since she had been pregnant with Ethan.

Hayley froze, her hand halfway to the brown paper bag that contained her lunch. Maybe the nausea this morning hadn’t been because of the seafood she’d had the previous night. She stood up straight again and began counting in her head. How many weeks had it been since that amazing night with Josh…

Before she could finish counting she had to run for the bathroom as the nausea overpowered her. She slammed the door to the small bathroom behind her and fell to her knees in front of the toilet. She didn’t think she had ever been so excited to be sick.

~*~

“I want Mommy.” Ethan pouted.

“Well that’s too bad, you’re stuck with Daddy tonight.” Josh sighed. Hayley had been acting odd all night and had asked Josh to deal with getting Ethan to sleep while she ‘caught up on a few things’.

Ethan crossed his arms angrily and gave Josh his ‘I am not impressed’ look. “Read.” He demanded, dropping a book in Josh’s lap.

“Yikes! Watch where you drop things, kid.” Josh jumped, as the corner of the book dug into his thigh. “Alright, come here you little monster.” He reached out and grabbed Ethan, who had begun dancing around in small circles for no apparent reason. Ethan squealed in delight as he was dragged backward and pulled into his father’s lap. Josh opened the book and began reading over Ethan’s shoulder, encouraging his son to make up his own story as they went along.

By the end of the book, Ethan was sleeping lightly against Josh’s chest.

“Hey, Josh…”

“Shh.” Josh hushed before Hayley could finish, nodding down at the sleepy toddler. He stood up and began walking slowly toward Ethan’s bed.

“Aww.” Hayley smiled. “Come downstairs when you’re done. I have something I need to talk to you about.” Josh’s heartbeat picked up immediately and he was suddenly nervous.

“Uh, ok.” He said casually. “What is it?”

“I don’t want to say in front of the little one.” Hayley informed. “It can wait.” With that, she disappeared from the doorway and Josh could hear her light footsteps going down the stairs.

His stomach twisted in knots as he laid Ethan in bed. Hayley had been in a weird, distant mood for about a week now and they hadn’t had sex in at least a week and a half. He knew they didn’t have to have sex to have a good relationship, but it was something they did on a fairly regular basis. Lately whenever he tried to start something, Hayley would roll her eyes and push him away, complaining that she was too tired. Josh however, was starting to think that maybe she just wasn't as attracted to him anymore.

“Night Dada.” Ethan sighed quietly. Josh’s head snapped away from the doorway and he smiled at his son.

“Night EJ.” He tucked Ethan into bed and kissed his forehead gently. “Sleep tight.”

“Don’t let da beg buds… bite.” Ethan mumbled sleepily.

“Close enough.” Josh sighed with a quiet laugh. He walked to the door and shut it quietly behind him and reluctantly headed downstairs.

“Eth is all settled in for the night.” He announced. He sat in the chair across from Hayley and turned his attention to the show she was watching. She looked at him and smiled nervously before turning the television off.

“Hey! I wanted to see that!” Josh pouted. He had no idea what show was on, but anything was better than this talk Hayley wanted to have.

“Don’t try to get out of talking.” Hayley replied.

“Hayley…” Josh sighed heavily. “I know we’ve been…” He hesitated as he saw the look on her face. “Wait, you’re smiling.” Hayley nodded. “What… what kind of talk is this?”

“What did you think it was?” Hayley asked curiously.

“I don’t know…” He mumbled. “Not a fun one though. I mean, we haven’t been as… close recently as we normally are.”

Hayley rolled her eyes and shook her head with a short laugh. “I told you! I’m tired.”

“Yeah, well, you’ve been tired an awful lot lately.” Josh grumbled, voice laced with resentment.

“I have.” Hayley replied matter-of-factly. “We’re going to the doctor about that tomorrow.” She explained.

“What? What doctor?” Josh said, annoyed. Did she want them to see a stupid couples therapist or something? He didn’t think things were that bad between them. “Ok, what kind of talk are we having here, because I’m confused.” He said, a hint of anger in his voice.

“A good one. I think.” Hayley replied. Watching Josh squirm was entertaining. Though the reason behind her teasing was fear of what he would say and do when she finally admitted what was going on.

“While I was at work today… I got sick.” She said. Josh stared at her, completely and utterly confused. “And,” Hayley continued nervously, “it’s been… what… five weeks since that night?” She asked raising an eyebrow for emphasis.

“Five and a half.” Josh replied with a smile. That had been a good night…

“Men…”Hayley sighed. She sat back against the couch and waited for Josh to catch on.

“So, what does that have to do with…” Josh stopped mid-sentence and cocked his head to the side. Everything was starting to fall into place, but he was afraid to say what he thought might be going on. He didn’t want to be wrong.

“What?” Hayley asked, barely able to hide a smile.

“Are you…” Josh started. “Are you pregnant?” He finished breathlessly.

“I think I am.” She replied in a whisper, nodding slowly. She studied Josh’s face carefully, looking for any signs of emotion. She saw a flash of something that could either have been excitement or panic, but it was only a matter of milliseconds before Josh had control over his face, hiding his thoughts deep within.

“That’s why I’ve been so tired lately. When I woke up this morning I felt nauseous but I assumed it was the fish we had last night and it was just disagreeing with my stomach this morning. But then at work, Tamara had a burrito and I had to run for the bathroom to be sick. Just like when I was pregnant with Ethan. And it would explain why I’m so sore. It just makes sense. Josh, please say something.” She said in a rush. She was shaking with nerves now.

“Uh.” He stumbled. “I uh…” His face was blank. He needed an escape route. And fast.

It wasn’t long before his prayers were answered and Ethan began sobbing from upstairs, calling for his mother.

“I got it.” Josh said quickly. Before he had even finished speaking, he was hurrying for the stairs.

“Joshua Neil!” Hayley yelled after him.

“I’ll be back!” He called over his shoulder. “Then we’ll… figure this out.” He added before he jogged up the stairs.

“You have got to be fucking KIDDING ME!” Hayley spat in frustration. She felt like she was suffering a major case of déjà vu. She told Josh she was pregnant and off he ran. Exactly the same as it had been about three and a half years ago.

“Asshole.” Hayley fumed quietly.

---

Oh Josh… :|

I’ll update soon, I promise!

Against my better judgement, I'm going to post this.

First off, I want to say that I understand this is a touchy topic – I know some people may not agree with me on this issue – and I generally stay far, FAR away from talking politics, especially on the Internet...

But tonight is potentially a HUGE night for Maine (where I live).

As some people might have noticed, ‘Maine’ and ‘#VoteNoOn1” have been Trending Topics on Twitter for a majority of the day. I believe ‘Maine’ is currently a TT again right now (as of the time this journal was posted).

This is why…

In May 2009, a law was passed and signed by Gov. John Baldacci saying that same-sex marriage would be allowed in Maine. Of course, some people were upset by this and now the issue made it to the ballot for today's election.

The question on the ballot was "Do you want to reject the new law that lets same-sex couples marry and allows individuals and religious groups to refuse to perform these marriages?"

"No" means you want to allow same-sex couples to be married; "Yes" means you want to repeal the law and refuse the right.

The polls closed at 8:00 PM (EST) and, from what I understand, there were still a few people in line to vote for at least an hour after the polls closed. Apparently there was a much larger voter turnout than expected and they ran out of ballots in some areas and had to use photocopied ones, haha.

Originally, the estimated results were 51% for ‘No’ and 49% for ‘Yes’, meaning that the law would stay in place and same-sex couples would be allowed to marry, but with all the unexpected voters, I really don’t know which side will end up having it.

As of 9:54 PM (EST) The votes are No: 50.62% and Yes: 49.38% but at this point only 22% of precincts have reported, so it’s anyone’s game. It's definitely going to be a close one. I am curious to see if Maine will end up breaking ground with the same-sex marriage debate.

Same-sex marriage has always been the one political thing I've ever really talked about publicly and have a really strong opinion about. 

Honestly, It’s kind of ridiculous to me that this even has to be voted on. We’re all people; we all deserve the same rights. 

Love is love. You can’t help who you fall in love with, and you shouldn’t have to be told whether or not you are allowed to marry them or not.

---

Edit: With 87% of precincts reporting, the gay marriage law has been overturned in Maine with a 53% to 47% vote. The 'Yes on 1' campaign claimed victory last night a little after 12:30AM (EST) 

I'm sad to see that 53% of my state isn't as open-minded as I had hoped. Although, the fact that the vote was so close gives me hope that someday soon things will change for the better and people will no longer be denied their basic civil liberties.