Breathe For Love

I got really bored, correct me if I'm wrong. 

Brick By Boring Brick - Paramore

She lives in a fairy tale
Somewhere too far for us to find
Forgotten the taste and smell
Of a world that she's left behind

It's all about exposure
The lens i told her
The angles were all wrong
Now she's ripping wings off of butterflies

Keep your feet on the ground
When your head's in the clouds

Well go get your shovel
And we'll dig a deep hole
To bury the castle
Bury the castle

Go get your shovel
And we'll dig a deep hole
To bury the castle
Bury the castle

Ba da ba ba da ba ba-ah!

So one day he found her crying
Coiled up on the dirty ground
Her prince finally came to save her
And the rest you can figure out

But it was a trick
And the clock struck 12
Make sure to build your home brick by boring brick
Or the wolf's gonna blow it down

Keep your feet on the ground
When your head's in the clouds (ahhhh oh)

Well go get your shovel
And we'll dig a deep hole
To bury the castle
Bury the castle

Go get your shovel
And we'll dig a deep hole
To bury the castle
Bury the castle (Whoa-oh Whoa-oh yeah)

Well you built up a world of magic
Because your real life is tragic
Yeah you built up a world of magic

Well if it's not real
You can (can't?) see it with your eyes (Changed to "You can hold it in your hands" for the Secret Show)
You can (can't?) feel it with your heart
I wont believe it

But if it's true
You can see it with your eyes
Oh even in the dark
And that's where I want to be, yeah

(Josh starts to sing, but all you can hear from him is 'oooooooo' on occasion)
Go get your shovel
And we'll dig a deep hole
To bury the castle
Bury the castle
 
Go get your shovel
And we'll dig a deep hole
To bury the castle
Bury the castle

Ba da ba ba da ba ba da
ba da ba ba ba da ba ba

Ba da ba ba da ba ba da
ba da ba ba ba ba ba ba ba

Ba da ba ba da ba ba da
ba da ba ba ba da ba ba

Ba da ba ba da ba ba da
ba da ba ba ba ba ba ba

Like I said, I was bored... haha.

I don't to go to back to school tomorrow D:

I wasn't planning on updating so quickly, but you guys are awesome and made me smile after the last chapter, haha

Enjoy!

Hayley collapsed on the couch next to Ethan and sighed. Christmas was a hectic time of year. Especially with a growing boy who was beginning to understand that Christmas meant presents, and with a secret relationship that she still didn’t quite understand.

She had been able to keep Ethan’s worsening tantrums at bay by telling him that Santa didn’t bring presents to naughty boys, but she knew that ploy wouldn’t work after next week and she’d have to figure something else out. For tonight though, he was being the perfect little angel. Thank God for television…

“Mommy!” Ethan said excitedly. “Ginch!” He grinned, pointing at the TV. Hayley looked up and saw an advertisement for The Grinch, which was apparently playing next on whatever kid’s channel they were watching.

“Oh, no, honey!” Hayley said, reaching for the remote. “This movie is scary.” She explained, knowing that the green Grinch character would likely scare Ethan, even if the Grinch did turn out to be good in the end.

“No Momma!” Ethan frowned. “Pweese?” He asked, with his puppy dog pout. He had been watching every Christmas movie he could over the last few weeks, he loved them. Hayley had managed to turn the television off when the ones with scarier characters came on, but she wasn’t fast enough this time.

“Ethan, you’re not going to like it.” Hayley warned.

He crossed his arms high on his chest and glared at her. “I’m not scawed” he insisted. Hayley sighed, well, The Grinch wasn’t that scary… maybe he would be ok.

“Alright, but if you get scared we can turn it off.” She said.

“I’m not scawed!” He repeated, throwing his hands in the air enthusiastically and rolling his eyes.

“Ok!” Hayley smiled as the movie started. “Good.” Ethan grinned happily and cuddled up next to Hayley, settling in for the movie.

Throughout the beginning of the movie, Hayley kept reaching for the remote to change the channel as Ethan tried to hide himself against her, but each time, he screamed “No!” and made her keep the movie on.

As the movie went on, Hayley’s mind wandered to Josh. They weren’t exactly dating… yet… but they were certainly very flirty when Ethan wasn’t around to see and they had shared a few amazing kisses that left Hayley feeling as high as a kite.

She felt so happy when she was with Josh, but they rarely had time together. They had both silently agreed not to hug or kiss or even flirt around Ethan, since they didn’t know where they were headed. This made it even more difficult to try to figure out where things were headed because, of course, Ethan was always around. He always came first. He always had, and he always would.

A small groan from Ethan tore Hayley away from her thoughts and she looked down to find his head buried in her side, so he didn’t have to see the mean old Grinch anymore.

“Wasn’t it scary?” Hayley asked as the credits rolled and a commercial for the next Christmas-themed movie came on.

“No!” Ethan said quickly, puffing his chest out. “I’m not scawed!”

“If you say so, buddy!” Hayley sighed. “I was scared though. It’s ok to be scared.” Ethan shrugged and crawled onto her lap. “I think it’s time for bed.” Hayley said with a yawn. Ethan turned around to face her, a look of sheer panic on his face.

“Aww!” Hayley laughed. “Ethan, the Grinch isn’t coming to get you, I promise.”

“I’m not scawed!” He insisted once more, straightening his face.

“Alright, time for bed then.” Hayley said. She picked him up and brought him upstairs.

An hour later, she finally had him tucked in to bed. He seemed to be alright for now, but she hoped he didn’t have any nightmares about the Grinch.  She slowly made her way to her bedroom, she was beyond exhausted and was definitely ready for sleep.

She curled up in her big bed with a book, and tried not to think about what she still had to do to get ready for Christmas. 

“Mommy?” A tiny voice called from her right. Hayley jumped, afraid something was wrong, and peered over the side of her bed to see Ethan standing there, hands twisted together, looking nervous.

“Ethan! What’s wrong? Are you ok?” She asked quickly. She threw the blankets off of her but before she could get out of the bed, Ethan crawled onto it.

“I am gonna sleep with you, so you don’t be scawed.” He said matter-of-factly. Hayley laughed and nodded.

“Alright. Thank you, Ethan.” She replied. “The mean Grinch wont get us now!” It amazed her that he was only two and he already knew that boys weren’t supposed to be scared. She pulled back the blankets and let him crawl under. He smiled happily and sighed as he rested his head on a soft pillow.

“Night, Momma.” He yawned.

“Goodnight, baby.” Hayley replied. She kissed his cheek and set her book on the bedside table before turning out the light.

~*~

“Have you decided what you want to get Mommy for Christmas yet?” Josh asked as he and Ethan walked through the overflowing Franklin Mall.

Ethan frowned and furrowed his eyebrows, looking around the mall from Josh’s arms. “That!” He said, pointing excitedly to a jewelry store. Josh lowered him to the floor and followed him over to a display containing a silver heart shaped pendant necklace with small diamonds embedded in it. Hayley would love it.

“Do you have enough money for that?” Josh asked. Ethan nodded and looked up to Josh expectantly.

“I don’t think you have that much.” Josh said, shaking his head. “I think you have ten dollars.”

“That is one dollar.” Ethan said, crossing his arms. Josh smiled and looked at the price tag.

“No, that’s one hundred dollars.” Josh corrected.

“But Mommy needs it!” Ethan frowned.

“She does?” Josh asked.

Ethan nodded enthusiastically. “She weally does.” He said, eyes wide. “Pretty.” He added, pointing to the necklace.

“Just like Mommy, huh?” Josh asked.

Ethan nodded again. “It’s Mommy’s.” He said, referring to the necklace.

“How about I help you buy that necklace and we both give it to Mommy?” Josh asked.

“Sound good dude!” Ethan grinned. Josh burst out laughing and picked Ethan up.

“You need to stop hanging out with Uncle Zac, I think.” He muttered.

“Hello sir, can I help you?” An employee asked as she finally got away from quite a few other men who were picking out last minute gifts for wives and girlfriends.

“Can you tell her what we want?” Josh asked. Ethan hid his head in Josh’s shoulder shyly.

“Oh, he’s so cute!” The woman smiled.

“Thanks.” Josh said, blushing slightly. “Come on Ethan, she needs to know or she’s going to leave and we wont be able to get Mommy’s necklace.”

“This!” Ethan said loudly, pointing to the necklace.  He quickly rested his head on Josh’s shoulder once more.

“Oh, that’s very pretty!” The woman smiled. She unlocked the cabinet it was in and took it off the display.

“Hey! You can’t have that!” Ethan shrieked. “That’s for my Momma!” His eyes were wide and he looked very angry.

“Ethan!” Josh laughed. “It’s ok, she’s going to put it in a pretty box so we can give it to Mommy.”

“See…” The woman said, showing Ethan the box. She polished the silver heart pendant before placing it in the black velvet box. She handed it to Ethan, to assure him she wasn’t taking it, and rang out the purchase.

“Oops.” Ethan said as Josh signed the receipt. Josh heard a clunk on the floor by his feet and sighed as he realized Ethan had dropped the box.

“Thanks.” He said with a smile to the employee who had helped them. He bent down, picked up the small box, and placed it safely in his jeans pocket. “Now, don’t tell Mommy what we bought her, ok?” Josh said, looking straight at Ethan.

“Ok!” Ethan agreed.

“Alright.” Josh smiled. “Are you ready to see Santa?” he asked. Ethan grinned and nodded happily. Josh made his way through the crowd to where ‘Santa’ was sitting. He immediately felt bad for whoever was in the Santa costume, he looked like he was very hot under all that makeup and costume.

When they reached the front of the line, Josh set Ethan on Santa’s lap, whispered Ethan’s name to ‘Santa’ and backed away. Ethan’s eyes went wide as he looked up to the man with the beard and his mouth hung open slightly in awe.

“Hello, Ethan!” Santa said loudly. Ethan gasped.

“Daddy! He knows my name!” Ethan shrieked. Santa laughed and nodded.

“Of course I do!” He said. “Now tell me, what would you like for Christmas, Ethan?” Ethan got on his knees and whispered into Santa’s ear. The man in the Santa costume looked to Josh, giving him a look that clearly said he was confused and that, perhaps, Josh was a crazy person who shouldn’t have a child.

“Peeeaaase!” Ethan asked loudly when he backed away from Santa’s ear.

“I’ll see what I can do.” Santa replied, forcing a smile. Josh rushed forward, face red, and scooped Ethan up.

“Ok, time to go.” He said. “What do you say, Ethan?” He asked.

“Thank you Santaaa!” Ethan called out happily as Josh hurried away. 

Seriously, you guys are awesome, haha. Thanks so much for your comments and buzz. :) 

P.S. ba da ba, ba da ba ba da :D hahaha Brick by Boring Brick is awesome, I can't wait for the whole record. 31 days!

First of all, thanks to everyone who participated in the "Ethan" chapter! Haha, I had fun with it. :) 

Sorry it took so long for me to get this chapter up, I've had a hard time making myself write this week. :/ hah. 

This one is kinda short. Sorry for grammar/spelling. I'm posting this kinda fast because it's been so long since I last posted. 

“Where the hell are you, Josh?” Hayley muttered to herself. She was in her car outside his parent’s house, waiting. He was supposed to be outside with Ethan after their thanksgiving dinner, but he was nowhere to be seen. Hayley wanted anything but to have to go inside and socialize with his mother. It was just an awkward situation waiting to happen.

“Pick up your freaking phone, asshole!” Hayley complained to her phone as it went to Josh’s voicemail. She hung up before she actually left a message and resigned herself to go inside and dealing with the awkwardness that awaited her. 

“Hayley!” Emily greeted as Hayley walked inside.

“Emily!” Hayley smiled. They hugged quickly and Hayley took a step back. The two really hadn’t talked since Emily and Zac got married a year ago. They saw each other from time to time, but they never had a chance to sit down and really talk like they used to. 

“How was dinner?” Hayley asked.

“Excellent. I’m stuffed!” Emily replied, placing a hand gently on her stomach for emphasis. “And Ethan was fine, before you ask.” She added with a knowing smile. “He had a few tantrums, but nothing major.”

Hayley frowned. “Well, he didn’t get much sleep last night, so that may have been part of it.”

“Oh, it was nothing, really, Hayley.” Emily insisted. “It was so great having him here, I need to see my nephew more often!” She laughed.

“Oh, definitely!” Hayley smiled. “And I need to see you more often. I miss you!” She added.

“Do I hear miss Hayley Williams?” A male voice asked with a smile.

“Hello Mr. Farro.” Hayley responded with a grin. She turned around to greet him properly and allowed herself to be dragged into the living room.

“Hayley! Oh, it’s so good to see you!” Josh’s mother greeted warmly. “Joshua is on the couch. I’ll go get Ethan’s things.”

“Hey.” Hayley said, not so pleasantly, as she stood in front of Josh.

“Hayley!” Josh said, surprised. “Is it six already?” He asked, looking at his watch. “Oh, crap! I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok.” She sighed. “Where’s Ethan?”

“Noooooo!” Ethan shrieked with a giggle as he tore through the living room. Zac was running after him, wiggling his hands, trying to capture Ethan.

“Momma! Help!” Ethan cried. He grabbed hold of her leg, and tried to climb up her.

“Oh, am I a tree now?” Hayley asked with a laugh. She bent down to pick Ethan up and held him out so Zac could tickle him.

“Mo-mma-aaa!” Ethan complained between laughs. Hayley laughed and shifted him in her arms so he rested on her hip.

“I got you!” Zac teased. He backed away and collapsed on the couch, looking exhausted. “Oh, food and running still don’t mix” He complained, holding his stomach.

“Again uncle Z!” Ethan said happily.

“Eth, I think uncle Zac needs to rest.” Josh said, holding his arms out for his son. Hayley handed him over and sat next to Josh while she waited for his mother to come back with Ethan’s diaper bag and toys.

“Did you have a good time with Daddy?” Hayley asked. Ethan nodded and yawned. He crawled over to Hayley and curled up in her lap, resting his head on her chest. She smiled and ran her fingers through his hair gently.

“He was good.” Josh said with a massive yawn. Hayley smiled, huge amounts food had always made Josh tired.

She shook her head; she needed to stop thinking about Josh. Things wouldn’t work out between them, and she didn’t want to give Ethan false hope. He already begged Hayley on a daily basis to let Daddy live with them.

“Alright! Everything’s packed up.” Josh’s mother announced as she walked back into the room with Ethan’s diaper bag. “Would you like some apple pie, Hayley?”

“Oh, I’m still full from dinner at my mom’s.” Hayley replied. “Thanks though.”

“Hayley passing up mom’s famous apple pie?” Josh said in shock. “Are you feeling ok?” He pressed the palm of his hand to her forehead to see if she had a fever. Hayley swatted him away with a laugh and turned back to his mother.

“Well, maybe I’ll take a piece to go.” She said.

“Of course.” Janine smiled.

“Me too!” Ethan said suddenly. “I want a piece to-grow” Hayley laughed and ruffled Ethan’s hair.

“What do you say?” She asked.

“Pweeeeeeeeeeese!” Ethan asked with a pout.

“Oh, he pulled out the Josh pout.” Hayley said, nodding toward Ethan.

“Ha! That is my pout…” Josh said thoughtfully. 

“At least you know he’s your kid!” Zac joked.

“Ok, Ethan, you can have a piece too.” Josh’s mother laughed.

Half an hour later, Hayley was finally heading out of the house with a very tired Ethan in Josh’s arms. They got Ethan bucked into his car seat and stood outside the car in an awkward silence.

“Well, I guess I’ll see you later.” Josh said quietly.

“Josh…” Hayley said. “I’m worried about Ethan.”

“Me too…” Josh admitted.

“He’s realizing his family is different. He’s been asking why he has two thanksgivings when everyone else has one. I keep telling him it’s because he’s special, but he knows that’s not the reason.” Hayley explained.

“And his tantrums are getting worse.” Josh added.

“Have you noticed that they’re rare when we’re all together?” Hayley asked. “I mean, he still has them, like any normal two year old, but they’re not nearly as bad when we’re both there with him.”

“Yeah, I noticed that.” Josh sighed.

“I’m trying to get him used to the idea that we’re not all going to be together all the time, but he’s just not understanding why we can’t be!” Hayley said, frustrated.

“Hayley, he’s a kid, he’s going through a phase. He’ll figure it out and grow out of it.” Josh assured.

“I don’t think that’s all there is to it Josh.” Hayley sighed. “He’s coming up with excuses to get us all together, leaving toys behind at your place, cryi-“ Hayley gasped as Josh pulled her to him roughly and kissed her hard on the mouth.

“What the…” He whispered as they broke apart. “Uh… s-sorry.” He apologized, backing away quickly. “I don’t know what came over me.” He explained. “Oh, wow…” He raised a hand to his lips, touching them gently. Hayley stood in shock, eyes wide.

“Sorry.” Josh mumbled again.

“I-I think you should go.” Hayley whispered.

“Yeah, yeah, good idea.” Josh nodded.

“Josh!” Hayley called as he hurried toward his parent’s house.

“Huh?” He asked, skidding to a stop and turning around. Hayley took a risk. She jogged over to him and kissed him lightly on the lips.

“Bye.” She whispered. Before he could process what had happened, Hayley turned and got into her car, grinning like a madwoman. She looked out the window to see the affect she’d had on Josh and found her same crazy smile reflected on his face.

She glanced in her rear-view mirror to check on Ethan, and sighed in relief. He was fast asleep, he hadn’t seen anything. She started the car and heard Ethan groan in complaint from the back seat as the roar of the engine woke him up.

“Mommy kissed Daddy.” Ethan mumbled.

Hayley’s eyes shot back up to the rear-view mirror and saw Ethan smiling at her with a tired, lopsided grin. Shit...

:) Hehehe. Ethan is so sneaky. 

This is purely for fun. :D Just to give some background info on one of everyone's favorite little buzznet fiction-kids. :D

Thanks to Laura for helping me out! :)

Ethan Joshua Williams

Birthday: May 28

Birthplace: Nashville, TN 

Nicknames: EJ (his initials)

Favorite food (of the moment): "Ice keem" and mommy's special grilled cheese sammiches. Dried apricots on occasion.

Favorite Drink: Pineapple-Orange juice or Apple juice

Favorite saying: "Mama (or Daddy), no!"

Favorite toy: Mr Blankey - his blanket from Josh's mother - and his brightly colored rubber dinosaur toy.

Favorite Game: "Garunge-a" which consists of he and Mommy "hiding" from Daddy. When Daddy finds them, he says "garunge-a runge-a runge-a" and runs after them, trying to capture and tickle Ethan.

Afraid of: The Grinch

Latest Discovery: The neighbor's kitty doesn't like to have his tail pulled.

Ethan's life is a constant stream of curiosity. What's that over there? What does this do? What is that boy's name? Why is that girl riding a bike? Why is Daddy so tall? How many trucks are in this book? How does Mommy know everything? He is constantly asking questions and won't stop until he has his answer.

Ethan had inherited his stubborn-ness from both his parent's and has inherited Hayley's drive for independence, making him quite difficult for his parents to deal with, yet easy for them to relate to. He is almost a carbon copy of Josh, which Hayley knows will get him in to trouble in his teens.

Ethan is very animated and tends to talk with his hands and stomp around when he's upset or excited. His feeling are always revealed through his big, expressive eyes, which can be a nuisance for him since Mommy and Daddy can always tell what he's thinking.

As soon as he hears music, Ethan stops whatever he's doing and dances around, hopping up and down and waiving his arms about. When Josh says "get some air" Ethan grins, holds his air 'geetar' and stomps around; "Look Mom! I be Daddy!"

Ethan has always been a momma’s boy, and he and Hayley have a special bond. Ethan always seems to know when his mom is upset or needs a snuggle and Hayley always knows what’s up with Ethan just by looking at him. Even though Ethan can be quite the handful, he is always able to put a smile on Mommy’s face. 

~*~

Ok, so, I know that when people read about a character in books/online/wherever, everyone makes up their own version of what that character looks like. So, it came as no surprise to me to find that the few people I've talked to so far all have a different 'Ethan' in their minds, which is awesome!

In my mind, this is soooorta what Ethan looks like:

 
(All pictures are from flickr.com)

Just with slightly longer hair, a more Hayley-shaped nose, and fuller lips hahaha. Also a teeeeeeny bit chubbier. And I love the jacket the kid in the second photo is wearing, haha. Ethan needs that jacket. 

SO... Fun part!!

My question to all of you awesome readers: What does your Ethan look like? :) You don't have to post photos (though you're welcome to, if you feel like doing so) you can simply describe in writing if you want.

Does he have curly hair? Long/short hair? Green eyes? Is he blonde? Chubby cheeks? Is he tall/short (for a toddler...)? What is he like?
How do you imagine him?

I did this simply as a fun thing to give everyone some more background info on Ethan (I had a heck of a time trying to decide when Ethan's birthday would be, hahaha). Let me know what you think about the background info and let me know what your Ethan looks like!
Have fun with it! :)

Nowwwwww things will finally start to pick up. :D

“Ethan, Mommy is very upset with you, you have been a very bad boy today.” Hayley scolded as Ethan played in the yard. He had somehow managed to sneak out of the house when Hayley wasn’t looking, leaving her terrified because she didn’t know where he was.

“Momma, look at my rock!” Ethan replied, holding out a small grey rock.

“I see the rock, are you listening to me? You can’t go outside without Mommy.” She continued.

“Hold this.” Ethan said, shoving the rock in Hayley’s face. Hayley snatched the rock out of his hand, took a few deep breaths to calm herself and stood up.

“Ethan Joshua.” She said dangerously. “If you don’t start listening to me, you’re not going to Catherine’s birthday party. You’re being a bad boy right now.”

“Ethan good boy, Mommy bad boy.” Ethan replied nonchalantly. Hayley bit her lip, trying not to laugh. She was glad she could find some humor in the situation, but she was still fed up with his behavior that day.

“NO MOMMA!” Ethan screeched when Hayley picked him up and carried him toward the house. He kicked and flailed around in her arms, sobbing all the way. “Momma nooooo! Pay outside!” He wailed.

“We’re staying inside. You have been a bad boy. Bad boys don’t get to play outside.” Hayley said calmly. “You can help Mommy finish cleaning up the mess you made at lunch.”

“Mommy mean!” Ethan cried. “Bad mommy!” Hayley took a deep breath once more and tried not to cry from frustration.

~*~

“I said I’m coming!” Josh called as he ran for the door. Emily was going to rip him apart if the knocking kept up. She was trying very hard to get some sort of report done for work, and was majorly stressed out.

“Stop knocking!” He complained as he swung the door open to see who was pounding on it so incessantly. He found a very angry Hayley on the other side.

“Whoa, what’s up?” He asked.

“Your son!” She spat. Josh tried his hardest not to laugh and stepped aside to let her in.

“What happened?” He asked over his shoulder as he led her to his temporary room so they wouldn’t bother Emily.

“Everything!” Hayley cried hysterically. “This morning he refused to put on a diaper until breakfast was ready, so instead of dealing with the temper tantrum, I said he didn’t have to wear a diaper as long as he told me he had to use the big boy potty if he had to go. Ten minutes later I hear the very distinct sound of water hitting the floor and I find that he’s peed in the kitchen.” Josh laughed, but quickly covered his mouth when Hayley glared at him.

“All he said was ‘oops, mama!’ and then ran off.” Hayley scowled. “Then! At lunch, he didn’t want his spaghetti so he started throwing it everywhere!”

“Oh boy.” Josh groaned.

“He’s a complete terror!” Hayley complained. “I tried to make him help me clean up his mess from lunch and he ran off outside and tried to shove a freaking rock in my face. And he started kicking and screaming when I brought him inside. I’m going to have a pretty nasty bruise on my stomach tomorrow from it…” She said in a rush.

“He’s just exploring his boundaries.” Josh pointed out.

“Yeah? Well it sucks.” Hayley snapped.

“Where is he now?” Josh asked.

“Birthday party.” Hayley sighed. “I shouldn’t have let him go, but I had to do something to keep myself from strangling him…”

“Won’t he terrorize the party?” Josh asked, worried.

“No, no.” Hayley insisted. “He’s always well behaved at parties. He knows there’s cake in it for him if he behaves. Normally, I’d be there with him, but I just can’t handle it today.” She sighed.

“Hayley, it’ll get easier.” Josh soothed. “And I can always take him more often so you have some alone time.”

“No you can’t, you’ve got a full time job, Josh!” Hayley replied.

“Well, I’m always out by four, I can pick him up on my way home.” Josh suggested. Hayley sighed and buried her head in her hands.

“I love him, really I do. But he is so frustrating right now.” She whispered.

“It’s ok.” Josh assured. “Hey! Are you ok?” He added kindly as he heard a sniffle.

“He-he said I was mean.” Hayley sighed. “And he wouldn’t come near me all day. We usually have snuggle time after his nap, but he kept shoving me away.”

“Oh, Hayley…” Josh frowned.

“I know he’s just a toddler and he doesn’t mean it, but I feel like a horrible mother.” She blubbered, tears rolling down her cheeks.

“Shh!” Josh said. He pulled her into a hug and rubbed her back. “Hayley, it’s ok. He loves you, he’s just frustrated. He doesn’t understand yet.”

“I know.” She sniffled. “But it still sucks.” Josh continued to hold her and gently rocked her back and forth, humming quietly.

“…right in to place. If we only had a way to make it all, fall faster every day.” Hayley sang quietly, along to Josh’s humming. She felt him smile into her shoulder and she instantly smiled as well.

She sighed and pulled herself away. As much as she wanted to stay wrapped up in his arms, she knew it wasn’t right. Not with Lainy still in the picture. Josh cleared his throat, seeming to realize the same thing, and took a few steps back.

“Uh… why don’t you bring Ethan here for the night.” He suggested. “Take a night off.”

“No, it’s ok.” Hayley replied.

“Really! I don’t mind. He is my son after all.” Josh insisted. “Besides, it would shut Zac and Emily up for a night.”

“What?” Hayley asked with a laugh.

“They try for a baby basically every night.” Josh grumbled. “Loudly.”

“They’re trying to get pregnant?” Hayley asked excitedly.

“Well…no.” He replied. “But that’s what I keep telling myself. Makes me feel slightly better about the situation.” Hayley burst out laughing and leaned against the wall.

“Oh, I feel bad for you.” She giggled.

“Me too.” Josh agreed. He leaned next to her and rubbed the back of his neck.

They stood in an awkward silence for what seemed like hours. Josh looked around the room, trying to think of something, anything, to talk about. Without really thinking, he nudged Hayley gently with his elbow.

Hayley giggled and nudged back harder. Josh smiled and pushed back again playfully causing Hayley to counter with a slap to his arm. She opened her mouth wide in shock at the noise, it had sounded like she hit him very hard when really it was only a light slap. She quickly burst out laughing as Josh covered the place she’d hit him with his hand in mock hurt.

“Playing dirty are we?” He asked with a sly smile. “Alright, I can do that.” He lunged forward and began tickling her relentlessly.

“No!” She gasped between laughs. “Please!” Josh didn’t give in and as Hayley tried to squirm away, she fell, not so gracefully, onto his bed. Before he could stop himself, Josh fell as well and nearly squished Hayley beneath him.

They both froze as Josh’s body hovered mere centimeters above hers. Their eyes locked together and Hayley felt her breath hitch in her throat. She was amazed how easily his eyes drew her in.

Josh’s lips parted slightly, and his tongue darted out, wetting his lips. His heart was racing and he suddenly felt as if his limbs were made of jelly. It felt… incredible to have Hayley underneath him.

Hayley smiled as she thought she felt a certain something begin to poke at her thigh, but before she could be sure, their moment was interrupted by the loud bang of a box falling to the floor.

“I knew it!” Lainy roared. “Fuck you, Josh.”

“Lainy!” Josh said, well, squeaked really. He jumped to his feet and tore off down the hall after her. “Lainy! It’s not what it looks like!”

“It really isn’t!” Hayley added, running after Josh.

“Yeah right!” Lainy replied, rolling her eyes. She looked absolutely furious. Hayley wouldn’t have been surprised if fire spewed out of Lainy’s mouth the next time it opened.

“Lainy! Please!” Josh begged.

“I bring over a box of your shit and find you on top of your ex. It’s exactly what I think it is.” She spat.

“What?!” Emily gasped as she overheard.

“No! No!” Josh said hurridly. “I was trying to make Hayley feel better and I tickled her. She fell on the bed and I fell on top of her!” He insisted.

“It’s the truth!” Hayley added. “Really, nothing was going on! I swear.”

“No.” Lainy said dangerously. “No I don’t care. I’ve had enough.”

“Lainy, I won’t see him anymore.” Hayley said frantically. As much as she didn’t want Josh and Lainy back together, she knew she didn’t want to be the reason for their demise. “If that’s what it takes! I won’t see him anymore. Please, don’t leave him.”

“Too many close calls.” Lainy snarled. “Why the hell are you even here in the first place? God! You’re such a bitch! Trying to steal him while he’s away from me?! What the fuck is that?!” Josh’s jaw clenched, but Hayley pinched him hard behind his back, where Lainy couldn’t see, to keep him from lashing out.

“Lainy, you know nothing was happening between Hayley and I. You know I love you!” He said. “Please. We can figure this out.”

Lainy hesitated for a second. She looked at her engagement ring and shook her head slowly. “I don’t think I can deal with this. I want the rest of your stuff gone by the end of the month.” She whispered. She pulled the ring off her finger and held it out for Josh.

“Lainy…” He whispered, pain etched in his voice.

“Goodbye Josh.” She whispered. She dropped the ring on the floor and walked out of the house. Just like that. She was gone.

“Josh…” Emily whispered, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t touch me.” He whispered, emphasizing each word dangerously.

Hayley was rooted to the spot. She couldn’t believe what had just happened. Josh knelt down and picked up the small diamond ring Lainy had dropped. Hayley watched him inspect it and saw tears come to his eyes.

Without warning, he flung the ring as hard as he could across the room. Hayley and Emily jumped in fright at his angry movement and Josh tore off for his bedroom, muttering something about ‘bitch anyway’. Both girls winced as his door slammed shut with a gunshot-like bang.

“Wow.” Emily whispered. “That was…”

“Intense…” Hayley finished.

~*~

“Hey Ethan, are you ready to go?” Hayley asked. To her relief, Ethan nodded happily and held his arms out to be picked up. “Sorry I couldn’t stay for the party.” She apologized to Catherine’s mother, Denise.

“Oh, it’s quite alright.” She smiled. “He was the perfect little angel, I swear! You would never have known he was such a menace earlier today.”

“Good!” Hayley said. “I figured he’d be ok here, but you never know!” She laughed. “Can you say ‘Thank you’ Ethan?” Hayley asked.

“You’re welcome, Momma.” Ethan said with a toothy grin. Hayley laughed and turned to Denise.

“Thank you.” She said.

“No problem!” Denise smiled. “Thanks for coming.”

“See you later.” Hayley said.

“Byeeee!” Ethan sang, waiving as they walked away.

“Thank you for being good this afternoon.” Hayley said to her son as she buckled him in to the car seat.

“Momma, snuggie time!” Ethan demanded. Hayley grinned broadly.

“I know, we missed snuggle time today, didn’t we?” She frowned. “We’ll snuggle when we get home, ok?”

“Ok!” Ethan grinned. “I sowwy I mence.”

“Mence?” Hayley asked, furrowing her eyebrows. “Oh! Menace!” She realized, thinking back to what Denise had said. “No, it’s ok Ethan. You’re not a menace.” She laughed.

“I be good now!” He promised.

“Thank you.” Hayley smiled. “You are too cute, buddy!” She added. She kissed his forehead and hopped in to the front seat to drive home.  Hayley was beyond exhausted. It had been quite an interesting day.

Whoop! I think I'll have a special 'Ethan' surprise thing posted shortly. Don't get too excited, it's nothing too special. 

Also, if you don't mind, buzz Claire's (musiciscool) "The Good Life - Valencia" post. She's in a contest and needs the buzz so I agreed to add this in to my update so she could get more buzz. 

Let me know what you think of this chapter! I imagine everyone will be happy that Lainy is gone :D haha.

Special Edition Ethan chapter-thingy should be up sometime this week. And I want everyone to participate when it gets posted! hehehe. It's just gonna be something fun for everyone. :)

Sorry! I meant to update last night, but things came up, haha.

The more time Josh spent at Zac and Emily’s house, the more he realized he loved it. He hadn’t hung out with Zac on a day-to-day basis in years and he missed it. He had been there for a week so far, and things with he and Lainy seemed to be getting slightly better. They were planning on meeting up in a week to discuss where things were going between them and Josh was hoping he would be allowed to move back in.

Currently, Josh was sitting on Zac’s couch with Ethan curled up, asleep, in his lap. They had been watching Finding Nemo, but Ethan hadn’t been able to make it through the whole movie. Then again, watching it during the time Ethan usually took his midday nap probably wasn’t the brightest idea.

“Quiet!” Josh hissed as someone slammed the front door shut.

“Josh?” A female voice replied. Josh smiled as he recognized the voice. It was his mother.

“Mom’s here.” Zac announced.

“Quiet!” Josh whispered again.

“Oh, sorry.” Zac said as he walked into the room and saw Ethan. “Mom’s here.” He repeated, quieter this time.

“Ethan!” Janine cooed when she saw the toddler. “Aww!” She smiled. “He… Oh, Josh! He looks so much like you…” Her voice trailed off. “Every time I see him… I can’t believe it! And now! Oh, gosh.” She laughed, fanning her face as a tear rolled down her cheek. “I’m so glad you and Hayley worked something out so you can see him. He needs his Daddy.”

“Uh… yeah.” Josh replied. He didn’t know why, but he suddenly felt incredibly awkward. “Uhm, I’m gonna bring him upstairs to sleep.” He whispered. He picked Ethan up and headed for the guest bedroom he was staying in. Ethan began to wake up as Josh laid him on the bed and he huffed a bit in annoyance. As Josh turned to leave, Ethan began to whine.

“Daddyyyyy.” He complained. “Lay with me.” Josh sighed.

“No, I’m not laying with you. But I’ll be right here until you fall asleep.” He said.

“Noooo!” Ethan mumbled. “Daddy!” Tears formed in his eyes. Josh sighed and walked back to the bed. He rested a hand on Ethan’s shoulder comfortingly but was quickly shooed away by Ethan’s tiny hands.

“Daddyyyyy!” Ethan cried. “Daddy no! Lay with me.” He demanded. Tears were streaming down his face now.

“I know, I know.” Josh soothed. “You’re tired and grumpy, but I’m not laying with you. I’ll be right here though.” He said. He was determined not to give in to Ethan’s little hissy fit. He tried to brush the hair out of Ethan’s face, but Ethan squealed and shrank away from him, crying.

“Lay with meeee!” He yelled, face red and wet with tears. “Lay with me!”

“No Ethan, you need to take your nap on your own.” Josh said sternly. He felt awful inside, but he knew it had to be done. Ethan needed to learn that he couldn’t always have his way.

“Mommy!” Ethan called.

“Mommy isn’t here, buddy.” Josh said. Ethan wailed and shooed Josh away as he tried to get close once more.

“Nooooo!” He cried angrily.

“Ethan, it’s ok.” Josh sighed. He finally was able to get his hand on Ethan’s back and he rubbed soothingly.  Ethan calmed down a bit, but tears still ran down his little cheeks.

Josh smiled as he saw Ethan struggle to keep his eyes open and within a few moments, the toddler was once again, fast asleep. “Well that wasn’t too bad…” Josh whispered to himself. He stood up and closed the door quietly behind him. As he walked toward the kitchen, he immediately wished he was back dealing with Ethan. He had forgotten his mother was there. Surely she hadn’t come over just so say hi. She had been bugging him about Elaina for days, he had always come up with some excuse not to talk about it though. Now, she had him trapped. He briefly thought about heading back to the guest room and ‘accidentally’ waking Ethan up, but scowled at himself for even thinking about using his son like that.

“Joshua!” His mom greeted as he finally entered the kitchen. He turned to Zac with a ‘help me’ look on his face but Zac shrugged and walked out of the room with a freshly made sandwich.

“Hey.” Josh replied.

“Ethan having a hard time?” She asked with a small frown.

“He wanted me to lay down with him, I said no.” Josh replied. “He’s sleeping now though.” His mom nodded and handed over a sandwich.

“Thought I’d make one for you since I did for Zachary.” She smiled.

“Thanks.” He said with a quick smile. His mother always made the best chicken sandwiches.

“Josh… how are you?” She asked, concerned. He inwardly groaned and pushed the sandwich away. If that was the price he had to pay for the food, it wasn’t worth it.

“I’m fine, really.” He insisted. “Lainy and I are just spending some time apart to figure some things out.”

“Why?” She asked. “What happened?”

“Ma, everything is ok.” Josh said stubbornly. “I messed up, but we’re working it out.” Janine raised an eyebrow and waited for him to elaborate. Josh shook his head and walked to the refrigerator to get a can of soda.

“Joshua…”

“Mom! It’s really none of your business!” He snapped. “It’s between Lainy and I. I did something bad, we’re fighting, why can’t we leave it at that?”

“I’m just trying to help!” She replied, looking slightly hurt. “My son gets kicked out of his own house and I have no idea why! I just want to try to help you! What if this happened to Ethan? What would you do if you were in my position? How can I help you?”

“Ethan’s two.” Josh mumbled. He hated that she could play the ‘what if it was your kid’ card now.  His mom raised an eyebrow once more.

“I… I met up with someone and made a big mistake.” Josh sighed. “Ok?”

“Josh!” His mother gasped. “Did you… sleep with someone else?” She whispered in horror.

“Please don’t.” He said quietly, rubbing his eyes with his hands. This was so awkward. Yeah, obviously his mom knew he’d had sex, otherwise there would be no Ethan, but it still felt incredibly strange to admit he was intimate with girls.

“How… I thought… I thought you loved Elaina!” She gasped. “How could-“

“Mom!” He snapped, cutting her off. “Please! This is why I didn’t say! I’m being punished enough as it is.  By both Lainy and Hayley.” He said angrily. “And God…” He added as an afterthought.

“Hayley?” She asked curiously.

“Fuck.” Josh whispered. He groaned and leaned back against the cool refrigerator door. How did he always manage to screw himself over so magnificently? “Yes. Hayley.” He sighed.

“Oh.” She replied, suddenly calm.

“Oh?” Josh said in disbelief. “That’s it? Oh?” His mom shrugged, she didn’t have anything to say.

“So… because it was with Hayley, that makes it ok?” He asked with a snort. 

“Well, no…” She replied. “But at least it wasn’t some random girl, at least it was with someone you loved.”

“I don’t love Hayley!” He said immediately.

“I didn’t say that.” His mother replied, raising her hands in defense. After a few moments of silence, Josh’s mom opened her mouth once more.

“So… Lainy’s pretty mad?” She asked.

“Obviously.” Josh said, rolling his eyes. “And she has every right to be.” His mom nodded slowly.

“And Hayley’s mad?” She asked.

“Yeah, she didn’t know about Lainy at the time…” He mumbled. He was still disgusted with himself for that.

“Good lord Josh!” She gasped. “Your father and I raised you better than that!”

“I knooow!” He groaned. “I’m an awful person, I know, I know, I know!” He let his back slide down the wall until he was sitting on the ground with his head in his hands. “Like I said, I’m being punished enough already.” He said, more to himself than to his mom. She walked over to him and knelt beside him, rubbing his back.

“It’ll be ok.” She sighed. “Yeah, you screwed up, but it will be alright.” Josh sniffled and rubbed his face with a groan.

“Are you…” His mom trailed off. “Are you alright?” No matter how hard he tried to hide it, she could tell he was crying, or at least that a tear or two had managed to escape his eyes.

“I’m fine.” He replied shortly, any sign of tears now non-existent. She hugged him as best she could in her position, and rubbed his back. “God is laughing is ass off at me…” He said after a few minutes with a short laugh.

“Why do you say that?” His mom asked with a small smile.

Josh’s face went blank. “Hayley got pregnant.” He whispered. He watched his mother’s eyes grow wide, but was thankful that she didn’t say anything.

“And uh…” He continued, clearing his throat. “Uh, she… she had a miscarriage…” He finished sadly.

“Oh my gosh! Josh!” She whispered. “Oh, I am so sorry, baby!” She lunged at him, hugging him tight.

Josh shut his eyes and smiled. It felt surprisingly good to tell her everything. He placed his arms around her and hugged back, realizing for the zillionth time that no matter how badly he screwed up, his mother would always love him. He instantly knew that he would be the same way with Ethan. He would love his son no matter what shit Ethan got himself into as he grew up.

“Thanks, Mom.” He whispered.

next update posted whenever I write it!

Sorry if this one was a bit boring

It's short and 'filler-y' :( sorry!

“Coming!” Hayley called as her doorbell rang for the third time. She was running late to say the least, no thanks to a certain reoccurring dream she’d had about a particular chocolate-brown-eyed man. Her hair was half done, her blouse was buttoned the wrong way and she had Ethan under one arm, who was complaining about having to go to day care. And now, to top it all off, someone was at the door.

“Hello?” She said, annoyance clearly coming across in her voice as she swung the door open.

“Hi.” Josh said sheepishly. He was holding a rather large cardboard box and he looked just as disheveled as Hayley was.

“…Hi.” Hayley said, confused.

“Daddy!” Ethan grinned. “Hold me!” He said immediately.

“I’m holding this box, buddy.” Josh laughed. “I can’t.” 

“What are you doing here?” Hayley asked. She set Ethan on the ground, and stood in the middle of the doorway.

“Uh…” He started. He shifted the box in his arms and looked around. He felt stupid just standing on the doorstep, but apparently he wasn’t welcome inside Hayley’s house at the moment. “I told Lainy.” He said quietly.

“I figured.” Hayley replied shortly.

“She kicked me out.” He informed. Hayley nodded.

“I don’t blame her.” She replied. She didn’t really know why she was being so mean to him. She was still pretty furious about the fact that he hadn’t told her about Lainy at all, but he had helped her through the miscarriage incident and, quite frankly, she would be in much worse shape if he hadn’t been there to care for her that night. She had needed him and he was there. And now she was being a bitch.

“Come on in.” She sighed finally. She stepped aside. “You look like crap.”

“Thanks.” Josh said with a sarcastic laugh. “I slept in my car.”

“Seriously?” Hayley asked in disbelief. Josh nodded and set the large box on Hayley’s floor.

“I was wondering…” He started.

“Oh no.” Hayley said immediately. “No, no, no.” She couldn’t handle living with Josh. She was already beginning to have some pretty interesting dreams about him. Having him in the house would make everything so much worse.

“I was wondering… if I could leave this with you for a bit.” Josh continued with a laugh. He pointed to the box and tugged on a ragged edge to open it. Hayley blushed deeply as she realized the box was full of toys and a few Ethan-sized shirts, not Josh’s things.

“Oh.” She said quietly.

“I don’t think me living here would go over well with Lainy.” He said, scratching the back of his neck. Hayley nodded in agreement.

“Still together then?” She asked.

“I don’t really know just yet.” Josh sighed. “We’re going to try to work on it I think. But I’m staying with Zac and Emily for a bit. There’s not much room at their place, so…” He nodded to the box. “Can you hold on to it?”

“Tans fomers!” Ethan said, a huge grin breaking across his face as he saw a toy sticking out of the top of the box. He pulled out a transformers car and ran out of the room with it, happily.

“Guess I don’t have a choice now.” Hayley laughed. “Yeah, I can hold on to them.”

“Thank you.” Josh said. “I’m so sorry Hayley.”

“For what?” She asked.

“For dragging you in to this whole mess.” He sighed. “I should have been able to control myself. I don’t know what came over me. And now… well I guess I’m getting what I deserve, but I’m sorry I got you involved.”

Hayley took a step toward Josh and placed a hand on his shoulder. “It takes two to tango…” She mumbled. “It’s not completely your fault, I couldn’t control myself either.”

“We should really work on that.” Josh whispered with a small laugh. Hayley smiled and nodded. She needed to get away. His eyes were sucking her in. She was getting into dangerous territory.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the baby.” Hayley whispered. There, moment officially ruined. “I was going to, but then I found out about Lainy and I freaked a little…”

“It’s alright.” Josh said honestly. Hayley saw pain flash through his eyes momentarily and she frowned. He was just as sad about the miscarriage as she was. She wrapped her arms around him and moved in for what was supposed to be a comforting hug. She froze as he moved his head toward her, and backed away as he leaned in for a kiss.

“Probably not a good idea, Josh.” She whispered. He shook his head and rubbed his forehead.

“Yeah. Yeah, sorry.” He sighed. Once again, she pulled him in to a hug. When she pulled away, she kissed him lightly on the cheek. Before she could get away completely, he raised his hand up and brushed some stray hair out of her face.

Hayley felt her insides flip-flop and her eyes fluttered shut instinctively. “Y-you should really go.” She whispered. “Lainy…”

“Sorry!” Josh said quickly, snapping out of whatever trance he was in. “God! What the hell is wrong with me?” Hayley forced a smile and walked toward the door.

“Ethan, Daddy’s leaving!” She called. “Can you come say goodbye?”

“No!” Ethan replied. Josh laughed and shook his head.

“Transformers are far cooler than lame ‘ol Dad.” He joked.

“Ethan…” Hayley said warningly.

“Bye-bye Dada!” Ethan called from the playroom.

“Bye Ethan.” Josh laughed. “See you later.” He added to Hayley. Hayley nodded briefly and motioned to the door. The faster he got out of there, the better.

As soon as he was gone, Hayley sighed and leaned against the heavy wooden door. She needed to start dating again. She was convinced that the only reason she was having romantic feelings for Josh was because he was the first guy she had been around in a while who wasn’t married to one of her close friends. And, the whole ‘father of her child’ thing didn’t help either…

“Momma!” Ethan said as he walked around the corner. “We late.” He said authoritatively. “Lets go now.” Hayley groaned and hurried to finish packing Ethan’s lunch before they left the house.

Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. :(

Sorry it's so short/boring!

I miiiiiiight post another chapter tonight/tomorrow morning, if enough people want it. Teehee!

I am sooooooo happy!!! Yay! Laptop is homeeeee! :D

Enjoy :)

The next morning, Hayley woke up and headed straight for Ethan's room to wake him up. As she pushed the door open, her eyes went wide and her hand flew up to cover her mouth. She giggled quietly at the scene in front of her and blushed. Josh was lying on Ethan's bed, back to her, with a thin cotton sheet pulled up to his chin. The sheets weren't exactly covering all though, and apparently Josh liked to sleep in the nude.

"I have to admit." Hayley whispered to herself. "I've always been a sucker for that bubble-butt." She laughed quietly. He hadn't changed at all over the last three or so years. He was still very... ahem... cute.

Josh suddenly grumbled in his sleep and rolled onto his back, unknowingly covering himself up with the thin sheet on the bed. "'Morning." He mumbled, eyes still shut. He could tell Hayley was in the room with him, even if he couldn't see her.

"Hi..." Hayley replied quietly. She walked over to the bed and sat on the corner. "How'd you sleep?"

"Great." Josh replied with a yawn. "Come here." He said, holding out his arms. Hayley furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, but couldn't seem to stop herself from lying next to him. Her heart raced as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to his chest. Was this seriously happening? She pulled back and looked him in the eyes. He threw her a lopsided smile and leaned in, kissing her lips gently.

Hayley gasped and pulled away, but his arms stopped her from going too far. He leaned in once more and kissed harder. "You and I both know we want this." Josh whispered. "We need it." Hayley couldn't think straight. Hormones were clouding over her brain and taking control of her. She nodded softly and gave in, letting him pull her close and nip at her neck gently. She sighed and smiled at the feeling and rested her hand on his waist. Her body gave a delightful jolt as she felt his warm skin under her palm and she couldn't help but grin at the thought of him being naked under the sheets. She giggled and kissed him slowly, simultaneously rolling on top of him so she was in control.

She placed small kisses randomly over his bare chest before sitting up for a moment to look around the room. Almost immediately, a thought popped into her head. "Where's Ethan?" She asked, looking from side to side. Fun with Josh would have to wait. They were in their son's room after all. That was just wrong.

"Where is he?" Hayley asked again, panic beginning to set in. "Ethan?" She called. She jumped off the bed and ran into her room to look for him.

"Ethan!" She screamed when she discovered he wasn't in her room. "Where is Ethan?" She cried.

"Hayley!” A voice called out. “Hayles, he's right downstairs!" Sarah's voice soothed. "Wake up hun, it's only a dream."

Hayley's eyes snapped open and she sat up straight in her bed. "W-what? What's going on? Where is Ethan?" She asked in a panic.

"He's downstairs playing." Sarah said. She was sitting on the edge of Hayley's bed looking concerned. "You must have had a bad dream."

"But Josh..." Hayley said, looking toward Ethan's bedroom.

"Josh left when I got here." Sarah explained. "We thought it was best to let you sleep in. Ethan is safe. Josh changed and fed him before I came. He's been playing all morning."

"What time is it?" Hayley asked. She couldn't believe she'd had a dream. It all seemed so real. She swore she had really felt Josh underneath her.

"It's nearly 12:30." Sarah smiled.

Hayley's eyes went wide. "Oh my gosh! I slept that late?!" She threw the blankets off of her and stumbled out of bed.

"It's ok!" Sarah laughed. "You deserve the sleep. Take a long shower and get dressed. I can keep Ethan entertained." She advised. With that, she walked out of the room, closing the door behind her.

Hayley cautiously walked toward Ethan's room, just to be sure Josh wasn't there, and sighed when she found that the bed was empty. She jumped when she heard a vibrating noise come from Ethan's dresser and looked over curiously. A black phone was resting on top, with the screen lit up angrily.

'Lainy Missed Call (9)

New Voicemail 

Lainy Text (5)'

"Shit." Hayley mumbled. Apparently Josh had left his phone behind. And apparently he hadn't bothered to tell Lainy where he was last night. She suddenly felt incredibly guilty.

~*~

"Freaking A Jer, are you sure you can't do it?" Sarah sighed into her phone, annoyed. "Hayley's been through a lot, I'd like to be here a little longer." She waited a few seconds and sighed once more. "Alright, I'll see what I can do. Love you too, bye." She ended her phone call and walked back into the living room where Hayley was playing with Ethan.

"Everything alright?" Hayley asked. Sarah nodded and sighed.

"Jeremy can't pick Sam up from school. Even though he knew I was spending the day with you." She complained.

"Sarah, it's ok." Hayley laughed. "I'll be ok on my own. Your family is more important than I am." Sarah frowned, looking unconvinced.

"Momma. I go grocery shoppin'." Ethan said, placing his hand on Hayley's knee. She turned her attention away from Sarah and looked to Ethan.

"Ok, what are you going to buy?" She asked.

"Bananas." Ethan replied. "And sausages. This is my moneys." He held out a bag of toy cars.

"How much money do you have?" Hayley asked.

"Umm." Ethan hesitated; he dumped the small bag out and began counting the cars. "Twenty, forty, six, seven, eight." He grinned and looked back up to his mother. "Time to go." He said. He scooped the cars back into his bag and hurried off to the playroom.

"He is so adorable." Sarah laughed. Hayley grinned proudly and nodded.

"So, are you really alright?" Sarah asked, concerned.

"I will be." Hayley sighed. "Really, it's for the best. I don't have the money or the help for another baby." She smiled sadly.

"You will get pregnant again someday. When it's the right time." Sarah soothed. Hayley rolled her eyes and shook her head with a forced laugh.

"I suppose..." She sighed.

"Here I am Momma!" Ethan announced as he walked back into the room with an armful of toys. He dumped the toys at her feet and sat down.

"What did you buy at the grocery store?" Sarah asked.

"Stuff." Ethan replied, pointing to the pile.

"Did you pay?" Hayley asked.

"I'm waiting for the cashier." Ethan replied.

"Where is the cashier?" Hayley asked.

"At home." Ethan said. "Getting breakfast."

"Well, tell her to come to work and help you!" Hayley laughed.

"Should I help the cashier?" Sarah asked. Ethan nodded and Sarah moved to the floor to 'ring up' Ethan's 'food' so he could leave. Hayley smiled as she watched and she ruffled Ethan's hair. Ethan immediately turned to her and held out his arms to be picked up. She hefted him onto her lap and busied herself with straightening out his shirt.

"Well, you're all set, EJ." Sarah smiled as she stood up. "You can leave the grocery store now." Ethan grinned and hopped off Hayley's lap.

"I've got to go pick Sam up." Sarah sighed, talking to Hayley. "I'll talk to you later. Don't be afraid to call me if you need me. Seriously."

"Alright. I think I'll be fine though." Hayley smiled. "Thank you, Sarah." She hugged her friend and walked her to the door.

"Mommyyyy!" Ethan groaned the second the door was shut. "We see Daddy?" He asked hopefully.

"How about we go visit Grammie?" Hayley asked. Ethan's eyes lit up and he grinned.

"Ok!" He smiled. "Come on! We go now." He said, pulling on Hayley's hand. Hayley laughed and followed him.

"Alright, can we get shoes on first though?" Hayley asked. Ethan nodded and ran to find his shoes.

~*~

After Hayley dropped Ethan off at her mother's house, she took a detour to Josh's house before getting some errands done. She knocked on the door and dug around in her purse for the phone he had left behind while she waited for an answer. Hayley turned around to see if Josh's car was in the driveway and frowned when she saw that both his and Lainy's were there. Why was no one answering?

She tried the doorknob and found it wasn't locked. She pushed the door open, after all, Josh had told her she could walk right in if he didn't answer right away, and she was only dropping the phone off. She could put it on the counter and leave before anyone even noticed she was there.

As she stepped inside, she could hear voices coming from the living room.

"You...you slept with her? And got her pregnant?" Lainy said. Hayley froze, eyes going wide. He was actually telling her?

"Fuck!" She whispered to herself. She always chose the wrong times to show up.

"Lainy, I'm such an asshole. I'm so sorry." Josh said quietly. "I know I hurt you. It only happened once and it will never happen again. I'm an idiot."

"What the fuck, Josh!" Lainy screamed. "How could you?! With that slut!"

"Hey!" Josh said, raising his voice. "Hayley isn't a slut." He continued, lowering his voice to a normal level. "She didn't know about you. She still wont talk to me, she's so mad about what I did to you."

"Oh, I'm sure she is." Lainy replied sarcastically.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Josh asked.

"I'm sure she's mad about what you did to me. Not about what you did to her." Lainy answered.

"Oh come on!" Josh groaned. "Lets just... this isn't about Hayley." He said. "This is about me confessing how much of an asshole I am."

"You are un-freaking believable." Lainy roared. "I didn't pack up and leave California just so you could fuck your ex."

"No, you didn't." Josh jabbed. "You came for Landon."

"What?" Lainy spat.

"Oh, don't think I don't know about Landon." Josh said with a sarcastic laugh. "You didn't move here just for the job, you knew he lived in Nashville." He accused.

"Josh, Landon and I have been over for years." Lainy defended. "You know that. I haven't seen him in months."

"Oh, is that why he called two days ago wanting to know when you wanted to have lunch again?" Josh asked.

"What?" Lainy asked quietly. Uh oh, she had been caught. "That's totally different! I'm not screwing him, Josh."

"It's only a matter of time." Josh seethed. "He seemed very interested in you, and he was very surprised to find that you were engaged. Do you even wear your fucking engagement ring?"

"I am allowed to eat lunch with whomever I please." Lainy said as calmly as she could, ignoring the ring question all together. "But I would never cheat on you. Especially with a whore."

"I doubt that." Josh snapped. "And you need to watch what you're saying. Hayley’s not a whore. Remember all the men you used to sleep wit-" He was cut off by a loud slapping noise.

"Stop defending her." Lainy spat. "If you really did care about me, you wouldn't defend her."

Josh took a few deep breaths to calm himself before he spoke again. "Lainy..." He said carefully. "Babe, I'm... I'm so sorry. I was just so confused. I finally found my son, and then Hayley and I were screaming at each other and... I don't know, it just happened, I wasn't thinking straight. I could never think straight around her in the past and I guess I never had a chance to really get over her. But I am now, I swear." Lainy didn't respond right away.

"I think... you need to leave for a while." Lainy sighed.

"Yeah." Josh sighed as well. "I think that might be good." Hayley took a few careful steps backward, trying to be as quiet as she could.

"Lainy?" Josh asked suddenly. "We'll be ok in the end, right?"

"I don't know." Lainy replied truthfully. "But you really need to leave right now."

"Lainy..."

"Pack your things and go." She said calmly. "Get out of here." Hayley turned on her heel and ran for the door before she was spotted. She dropped Josh's iPhone onto a small table by the door on her way out. When she got outside, she collapsed against the side of the house, gasping hard. She felt absolutely horrible. She had played a pretty large part in potentially ruining an engagement.

:O That is the first time ever that I've hit 'paste' and the chapter has pasted and kept the formatting and italic/bold words the same way they are in the original Word document!!! WOOHOO! Yay for easy updates! :D

I'm not a huge fan of that fight scene, but hey! It gets the point across.

Also, the video for 'Ignorance' is ah-freaking-mazing. Hayley looks incredible and Josh... well, lets just say he should wear black more often :D:D:D *drools* And Taylor! Aww Taylor is awesome. ah, they all looked so good in the video, haha. 

I HAVE MY LAPTOP BACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!! Good Lord! That was freaking ridiculous! Sent the stupid thing out on June 28th, just got it back tonight.

First time it came back, there was 'no fault found' which was ridiculous, because the fan was dying. Second time it came back, the fan still hadn't been replaced, but the headphone jack had, AND there were dents and scratches all over the bottom. Third time it came back, ALL BETTER! :D

Ahhhhhh I have missed this thing so much!!!! :D I'm happy. It's kind of scary how happy this little laptop makes me feel... I was having major laptop withdrawals, haha.

New chapter within the next 24 hours! :D

Please don't kill me. >.<

"Mommy!" Ethan called out. Josh grumbled in his sleep, rolled over and pulled the blankets up to his chin.

"Mommyyyyyy!" Ethan called a second time.

"Ethan!" Josh said as sat up straight and threw the blankets off himself. He had almost forgotten that Ethan had spent the night for the first time. He jumped out of bed and hurried to the guest bedroom where Ethan was sleeping in his portable crib.

"Ethan! Hey buddy." He said.

"Mommy?" Ethan asked.

"Mommy isn't here. She'll be here after breakfast though." Josh explained with a yawn. Geez, Ethan woke up early...

"Mommyyyy!" Ethan frowned. "Momma!" He repeated, tears starting to form in his eyes.

"Hey! Hey, it's ok! Daddy's here." Josh soothed. He pulled Ethan out of his crib and held him close.

"No! Moooommmaa!" Ethan sobbed.

"I know, I know, it's scary to wake up in a new place." Josh whispered. "You're ok though. Momma will be here soon." He rubbed Ethan's back and attempted stop him from squirming.

"Hey, how about we make pancakes buddy?" Josh suggested. "By the time we're done, Mommy will be here." Ethan looked up at his father, his big brown eyes wet with tears, and nodded.

"Would you like that?" Josh smiled.

"Y-yeah." Ethan stuttered quietly.

"Ok, lets go!" Josh said. He stood up with Ethan still in his arms and headed for the kitchen.

~*~

"Come on in!" Josh yelled when he heard a knock on the door. He knew it would be Hayley, coming for Ethan.

"Hello!" Hayley called from the entry. "How did everything go?"

"It went great!" Josh grinned. "He woke up a bit confused about where he was, but we got through it."

"Momma!" Ethan yelped excitedly.

"Hey Ethan!" Hayley smiled. She held her arms out and lifted him into the air with ease. "You're still in your pajamas!" She noted.

"Uh, yeah, sorry. We had breakfast before we got dressed to avoid any spills on today's clothes." Josh explained as he loaded the remainder of that morning's dishes into the sink. Hayley blushed as she realized Josh was only in his boxers and a plain white t-shirt.

"Uhm..." Josh mumbled. His face went red as he realized the same thing. He cleared his throat and stepped behind a counter to hide himself.

"I'll just... get Ethan dressed." Hayley said, looking at the floor.

"And I'll go run upstairs." Josh added. "Be back in a second." He made a dash for the stairs, leaving Hayley to dress Ethan.

"Oh, hello! I didn't realize you'd be here this early." Lainy said as she spotted Hayley and Ethan in the living room. Hayley had just pulled Ethan's shirt over his head and was smoothing out his hair the best she could. She felt her insides boil when she heard Lainy's voice, but she also had a feeling of incredible guilt. She had slept with another woman's husband, well... husband to be, and it disgusted her.

"Hi Lainy!" Hayley said in a fake-cheerful voice. "We're just getting ready to go."

"No!" Ethan said quickly. "Daddy!"

"We'll say goodbye to Daddy in a minute." Hayley assured. Ethan shook his head and crossed his arms.

"Hey!" Josh said as he ran down the stairs as quickly as he could. He didn't want Hayley and Elaina to be in a room alone together, he knew how awkward it would be for both women.

"Alright, Ethan, say goodbye to Daddy." Hayley said as she finished gathering up his things. "Then we'll go to the park."

Ethan ran for Josh and attached himself to his father's leg. "Dada come!" He grinned, tugging at Josh's leg.

Josh looked to Hayley and recognized a look of distaste and fear. "I can't come buddy." Josh sighed. It was obvious Hayley didn't want to spend time with him.

"Dada come." Ethan demanded.

"We can all go, Josh!" Elaina smiled. "We don't have any plans today as far as I know. And you are always saying you want to spend more time with Ethan, and I need to as well." Josh looked to Hayley once more and grinned as she sighed in defeat.

"Alright, we'll go." He said to Ethan. "But we can't stay for long."

"Momma and Daddy go." Ethan frowned. Lainy bit her lip and frowned.

"Ethan, Lainy can go." Hayley said quickly. "She wants to spend time with you too."

"No!" Ethan groaned. "Momma and Daddy!"

"It's ok." Elaina smiled. "I can catch up on some work things anyway."

"Are you sure?" Josh asked, concerned. Lainy nodded sadly and forced a smile.

"I'm sorry..." Hayley said. "I guess he still just needs some time to get used to you."

"Maybe we can have him next weekend?" Josh suggested. "Like, all weekend?"

"That might work." Hayley replied. She didn't want it at all, but she had to get used to the fact that Lainy was now a part of her son's life whether she liked it or not. If luck was on her side, Ethan wouldn't ever warm up to his soon-to-be step-mom.

"Ok, have fun at the park." Lainy smiled.

"See ya." Josh said, flashing a quick smile and picking Ethan up.

~*~

"Sammy!" Ethan yelled. He pointed to the sand box from Josh's arms and wiggled around, trying to get free.

"Hey! Josh! Hayley!" Jeremy called from a park bench a few hundred feet away, where he was watching his son play. Josh set Ethan down and watched him run to the sandbox as fast as his little legs would carry him.

"Careful on the stairs, Ethan!" Josh called out as the toddler came up to a set of three concrete stairs at the entryway to the park. Ethan held on to the old, rickety railing and eased his way down the stairs before finishing his run to Samuel.

"Ouch..." Hayley mumbled under her breath.

"You alright?" Josh asked, pausing to see what was up.

"I'm fine." Hayley answered, forcing a smile. She continued walking toward the park without a second glance to Josh.

Just as Hayley stuck her foot out to make her way down the concrete stairway, an intense pain ripped through her whole body. She gasped and everything seemed to slow down as she tumbled down the stairs. She wrapped her arms around her stomach, protecting her unborn baby from the fall, and landed hard on her shoulder.

"Hayley!" Josh yelled. He ran toward her and knelt beside her as she cried out in pain at the foot of the stairs.

"Hayley!" Jeremy called at the same time, hurrying over.

"Jeremy, take Ethan and Samuel somewhere. Don't let them see. I'm calling an ambulance." Josh instructed, he already had the phone to his ear. Jeremy hesitated for a moment, not wanting to leave his friend, but hurried away to gather up the children.

"Ahhhh!" Hayley groaned once more, holding her side. It felt like she had broken a rib during her fall. Tears began to stream down her face from the pain.

"What is it? What hurts?" Josh said quickly.

"Ribs." Hayley gasped. "I think I broke - ahh!"

"It's ok, everything will be ok." Josh assured.

"Josh!" Hayley gasped. Everything was getting dark, the pain was unbearable. He was on the phone with an operator now. "Josh tell them... ahh."

"What? What is it?" He asked hurriedly.

"I'm preg-" Hayley whispered. Darkness overcame her and she passed out before she could finish her sentence.

~*~

Josh sat at the foot of Hayley's hospital bed in shock. How could she? How dare she? As her eyes fluttered open, anger boiled up within him. Hayley looked around the room and shut her eyes with a groan.

"Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant?" Josh asked. His voice was unusually calm, compared to how he was feeling on the inside. "How the fuck could you keep that a secret from me!" He yelled.

"What the hell is wrong with you? You get mad at me about Elaina and you don't tell me you got pregnant! What the hell Hayley?! You had no right to keep that a secret, I can't believe you!" He ranted. Hayley sat in silence with wide eyes. "Do you have any idea how fucking pissed off I am with you right now? God damn! You are so fucking selfish, you know that? You keep Ethan from me and now this!" Hayley continued to sit, frozen in place. She wasn't even listening to what Josh was saying, she was still stuck on his first few words.

"Are you even going to try to defend yourself?" Josh yelled. "Or are you too fucking full of yourself to care? Say something!" He demanded.

"Y-you said... 'were pregnant'." She whispered, her heart stopped beating and she felt like she was about to vomit. "As in 'was'? As in n-not anymore?"

Josh's face instantly softened and he sat next to Hayley, taking her hand in his. "The doctors measured the baby at four weeks along." He said quietly.

Hayley's lip trembled. "No." She shook her head, tears spilled from her eyes and she gasped. "No, I'm six weeks along now."

"Hayley." Josh said, trying not to cry. "Hayley look at me." He said, placing a finger under her chin to make her look up. "The baby died two weeks ago. Your body was trying to get rid of the fetus while we were in the park. That's what that pain was."

"No!" Hayley whispered. She held her stomach and looked down. "No!" She wailed, shaking her head violently. Sarah was right, that cramp she'd had two weeks ago had been her losing her baby. She abruptly leaned over the side of the bed and vomited. When she sat back up again, she clutched at her stomach in horror. She couldn't believe the baby was gone. Just like that. It was like it had never happened at all. She looked up to Josh and finally let out a pain-filled cry.

"Shhhh." Josh soothed as he pulled her close to him and rubbed her back. "Everything will be ok." He whispered into her hair.

"The baby..." She murmured. "Our baby!" Josh felt tears sting at his eyes and his kissed the top of her head before wiping his tears away quickly. Hayley let herself collapse against Josh and sobbed until her voice was hoarse.

~*~

Josh sighed as she shut the door to Hayley's bedroom. He'd gotten her home and up to bed safely and Ethan was tucked in to bed, thanks to Sarah and Jeremy. Sarah would be stopping by the following morning, she knew what Hayley was going through and could help her through this, but Josh was planning on crashing on Hayley's couch downstairs just in case she needed someone that night.

As Josh made his way down the hall to the stairs, he was surprised to find Ethan standing in his bedroom doorway. "I see Momma now." Ethan stated. "Ok?"

"Shh, buddy. Momma's sleeping." Josh whispered. "You can see her tomorrow."

Ethan pouted and walked toward Hayley's door. "Momma wants me." He said simply. "She is umm... sad." He added in his slow, toddler way.

"Ethan, no." Josh said. He hurried over and lifted the toddler into the air. "Lets leave Mommy alone for now." He suggested. He was slightly awestruck at the fact that Ethan knew Hayley was sad, he hadn't even seen her since that morning. How could he possibly know?

"Josh?" Hayley called weakly from her room.

"Yeah?" He said quickly.

"Let him in." She replied.

"You sure?" He asked.

"Please..." She said sadly, almost begging. Josh felt his heart break, she sounded so incredibly fragile.

"Let's go see Momma." Josh whispered to Ethan. "But you have to promise to be good." Ethan nodded and squirmed in Josh's arms, trying to get to Hayley. Josh set Ethan down and opened the door. Ethan ran for Hayley's bed and crawled onto it.

"Its ok Mom, I here now." Ethan grinned. Hayley laughed weakly and let him snuggle up against her.

"I love you baby." Hayley whispered. "I love you so very much."

"I wuv Momma." Ethan said with a yawn. "Sleep now." He added. Josh smiled to himself and switched the light off.

"I'll be downstairs if you need me." He whispered.

"You can sleep in Ethan's bed." Hayley replied. "It should be big enough. Probably more comfortable than the couch." Josh nodded and backed out of the room. He was honestly surprised that she hadn't told him he didn't have to stay. It wasn't like he was going to leave anyway, but he had fully expected her to tell him to go to his own house.

Josh stumbled into Ethan's room, stripped down to his underwear and collapsed onto Ethan's twin-sized bed. It had been a long, life changing day.

This chapter is boring. The next one... well.. you'll like the next one.

No spell check or grammer check :/ sorry. I should get my computer back realllllly soon though! :D

"Josh? You here?" Lainey called as she pushed open the door to their home.

"I'll be down in a sec!" Josh replied from upstairs. He quickly placed an old photo of Hayley into a shoebox and shoved it under the bed, back to it's hiding spot. He hopped up and hurried down the stairs as fast as he could, Elaina would already be angry with him for not meeting her at the airport.

When he reached the bottom of the stairs, he grabbed a heavy suitcase from Elaina and set it next to the stairs. "How was the rest of your trip?" He asked politely.

"Fine." She sighed. "I'm starving!" She added with a laugh.

"How about I make you you're favorite baked macaroni and cheese for dinner?" Josh offered.

"That sounds amazing." She smiled gratefully. "Anything interesting happen while I was gone?" She asked.

Josh hesitated for a few seconds before shaking his head. "Uh, no. No, not really. Other than finally seeing Ethan." He replied. Well, it wasn't a lie, that had certainly been something interesting that had happened while she was gone. There were just additional... interesting things... that had happened. She didn't need to know about that though, what she didn't know couldn't hurt her. He had already decided it wasn't worth wrecking his relationship with Lainy. Their relationship needed enough work as it was now.

"I can't wait to spend some time with Ethan!" Lainy smiled. "I mean, he is gonna be my step-son after all." Josh smiled and nodded. Oh boy, he was going to have a hard time getting Hayley to let Ethan spend time with Elaina.

"You're gonna love him." He assured.

"I'm gonna start unpacking." Lainey said.

"Alright." Josh replied. It wasn't until she was hallway up the stairs that he realized neither of them had really offered any kind of real 'welcome home' greeting.

"Lainey!" He called.

"Yeah?" She replied, stepping back into the kitchen. Josh walked over to her and pinned her to the wall.

"Josh!" Lainy giggled.

"Welcome home." He whispered. He kissed her hard on the mouth and smiled as her hands wrapped around his back.

"Ok, I really need to unpack." She said after only a few seconds.

"Can't it wait five minutes? We haven't even gone through our traditional welcome home ritual?" Josh complained.

"Oh, and what would that be?" Lainy asked with a sly smile.

"You know." Josh replied with a cocky smile.

"Well, it's gonna have to wait until tonight, I'm way to hungry." She replied. With that, she turned and headed for the stairs once more. Josh turned back to the kitchen confused. That was weird. They usually always stayed holed up in the bedroom for at least a few hours whenever Lainy came back from business trips. Normally he would be chasing her up the stairs, even if she had said no. He always got her to change her mind.

He sighed, he really wasn't up for trying to get her to change her mind and he didn't know why. He shrugged it off to he and Lainey both being exhausted and hurried to get dinner ready.

~*~

Over the next week and a half, Hayley and Josh made arrangements for Josh to see Ethan for a few hours at a time but the two barely spoke a word to each other, besides asking questions about their son. As the days went on, they made more and more small talk, but Hayley never stuck around for more than ten minutes at a time.

After a few visits, Josh realized that he really should have some things for Ethan that could stay permanently at his house, so Hayley wouldn't have to bring over a huge bag of things every time Ethan came over. He already had a car seat, diapers and other essentials, but he needed toys. He needed to go shopping.

"Lainy! Look! How awesome is this?" Josh said excitedly, holding up an infant-sized plaid hoodie. He and Lainy were wandering around the children's section of Target with an already overflowing cart of toys and clothes.

"It's adorable!" Lainy agreed. "But don't go getting any ideas. Ethan is more than enough for now."

Josh paused for a moment and turned to face his fiancee. "You don't want any more kids?"

"I didn't say that." Lainy scoffed. "Just not right now, babe." Josh frowned, he hadn't really thought about it recently, but in the past he knew he wanted his children to be close in age. Ethan would already be three at the end of May.

"Why not?" He asked. "We have a house, we're getting married, we both have good jobs..."

"You're kidding, right?" Lainy laughed. She stopped almost immediately when she realized Josh was completely serious. "Josh, I'm only 24! And I'm just starting this great job! I'm not ready to take care of a kid."

"But we already have Ethan..."

"That's not the same, Josh." Lainy sighed. "He's not there all the time. A child of our own would be. And I'm not much of a child person."

"You're great with Ethan though, I've seen the way you are around him." Josh pointed out.

"I'm dealing with that kid the best I can." Lainey snapped. Josh's eyes went wide. She had always seemed so receptive of the toddler. "Don't you realize how hard it is for me to deal with the fact that you have a child with another woman? A child whom this other woman hardly lets me be around! God, Josh! I've been trying to deal with this as well as I can, and now you want to add another child into the mix?"

"I-I had no idea... I thought you loved Ethan." Josh mumbled, in shock at her outburst.

"Josh! I've barely even met him!" Lainey pointed out. "I know I will love him, but I don't even know him yet. I'm sorry, I just can't have a child for a little while. I'm not ready."

"Yeah, ok." Josh replied with a sigh. He turned to continue down the aisle and felt his heart ache as he saw an infant onesie that had 'Daddy's Little Angel' printed across the front. He had missed out on all of Ethan's infancy, and it was his own damn fault, he would never forgive himself for it.

As he stared at the light pink onesie, he realized he didn't want another baby, he needed one. His fatherly instincts were kicking in... hard.

~*~

"So, when are you going to tell him?" Sarah asked as she and Hayley sat on her couch.

"Please don't start." Hayley groaned. She still hadn't told Josh she was pregnant, and Sarah was all over her, trying to get her to tell him.

"Hayley, you're gonna start to show sooner or later. He's not that dumb, he'll notice." Sarah laughed.

"I know..." Hayley replied, she felt like she was about to be scolded. "I just... we aren't even really talking at this point." She defended. "I have to find a good time."

"Well, find it quick!" Sarah advised. "Or I'll tell him."

"Tell who what?" Jeremy asked, walking in from outside with Ethan and Sam.

"Tell you that Hayley hates you, babe." Sarah laughed. Jeremy didn't know about Hayley's...predicament yet. If he knew, Josh would know in a second. Hayley felt guilty, but Josh deserved to know first. Even though he was a jerk.

"Ah, right. Ok then." Jeremy laughed.

"Mommy!" Ethan said. He reached for her from Jeremy's arms and hurried over when Jeremy let him down.

"Did you have fun with uncle Jeremy?" Hayley asked. Ethan nodded and wrapped his arms around her leg. He rested his cheek on her knee and rolled his eyes up to look at her.

"When we see Daddy?" He asked.

"This weekend." Hayley replied. "But only for a bit. You have to visit Grammie too."

"Noooooo!" Ethan groaned. "Just Daddy! We eat dinner again." Hayley sighed, Ethan had been asking to eat dinner with Josh nearly every day since they had gone to the restaurant.

"Ethan!" Sammy said loudly, interrupting Ethan's train of thought and saving Hayley simultaneously. Ethan turned to face Samuel, still grasping Hayley's leg tightly.

"My baby sister is in here!" Samuel said proudly, touching Sarah's stomach with the palm of his hand. Samuel had recently figured out that Sarah was having a girl, and he took every opportunity he could to remind everyone. Ethan grinned and turned to Hayley.

"My baby sissy?" He asked, pointing to Hayley's stomach.

Hayley blushed, "no, not yet buddy." Ethan frowned and stepped back. He grabbed his blanket, pulled his shirt up a bit and stuffed the blanket underneath.

"What are you doing EJ?" Hayley laughed.

"Baby sissy!" Ethan explained, pointing to his stomach. Hayley, Sarah and Jeremy all burst out laughing and Hayley pulled Ethan onto her lap.

"It doesn't work quite like that, EJ." She explained. "You'll have a baby brother or sister someday though, don't worry."

"Now!" Ethan demanded.

"Not now." Hayley said, shaking her head. Ethan frowned and scrunched his eyebrows together, trying to look angry.

"Sammy, Ethan, how about we go outside in the sprinkler?" Jeremy cut in, trying to ward off a temper tantrum.

"Yeah!" Samuel yelled excitedly. Ethan grinned and nodded, crawling off Hayley's lap and holding out his arms for Jeremy to pick him up.

"Alright! I'm gonna get these guys into swim gear and turn on the garden hose." Jeremy said to Hayley and Sarah.

"Have fun." Sarah called after him.

"Nice save." Hayley added with a laugh as Jeremy dragged Ethan and Samuel out of the room.

"Ehh!" Hayley sighed, pressing her hand to her stomach in pain. She pulled her legs to her stomach slightly, to relieve the stinging a bit, and sat up straight again when the pain went away as quickly as it had come.

"Are you alright?" Sarah asked quickly.

"I'm fine, just a cramp." Hayley replied.

"Hayley... are you sure?" Sarah asked, worried.

"Yeah." Hayley assured. "It's fine."

"I dunno Hayley, maybe you should go to the hospital just in case." Sarah said. "There could be something wrong with the baby."

"Nothing is wrong with the baby." Hayley sighed. Sarah had been overprotective of her ever since she'd found out she was pregnant.

"Hayley." Sarah said dangerously. "I thought I just had cramps and normal morning sickness when I had my miscarriage. You can never be too careful."

Hayley froze. She hated making Sarah remember her miscarriage, it had been such a dark time for her and Jeremy, they had almost split up. They had tried for so long to have another baby after Samuel and finally, three years later, Sarah had gotten pregnant, only to have a miscarriage two and a half months in. Luckily, a few months after they had decided to start trying again, Sarah had gotten pregnant with the baby she was carrying now.

"Please go to the hospital, just in case." Sarah said quietly. Hayley could tell she was near tears.

"Yeah, yeah of course." Hayley mumbled. She pressed a hand to her stomach and prayed nothing was wrong.

"Jer, Hayley and I are going out!" Sarah called. "We'll be back soon."

Jeremy poked his head around the corner. "Everything alright?" He asked.

"Hayley's feeling a bit sick, I'm going to take her to the hospital, just in case." Sarah replied.

"Yeah, with the flu going around, I just want to be sure I'm alright." Hayley added. "Don't want to give it to Ethan."

"Ok, hope everything is alright." Jeremy said. Hayley could tell he hadn't fallen for their lie, but she was grateful he didn't dig for more information.

~*~

"Ok Miss Williams, I'm measuring you at four weeks pregnant via the internal ultrasound we just did." The on-call doctor said.

"That sounds about right." Hayley smiled.

"It's too early in the pregnancy to be one hundred percent sure, but everything looks completely normal. I think you just had a simple case of cramps. Nothing to worry over." The doctor continued. "If you have any other pains, come in immediately."

"Thank you doctor." Hayley smiled. "I just wanted to be sure."

"You can never be too sure. It's a good thing you came in." The doctor assured. "See you later."

"See, I'm fine." Hayley sighed.

"Good." Sarah replied. "But aren't you glad we're sure now?"

"...Yeah." Hayley admitted. Sarah smiled triumphantly and turned to lead the way out to her car.

"You have to tell him." Sarah said as they climbed into her SUV.

"Sarah, I know." Hayley snapped. "I know I have to fucking tell him! I'm going to tell him, let me do it on my own time."

"The longer you wait, the more angry he'll be." Sarah said.

"Oh! You want to talk about anger?" Hayley scoffed. "Do you remember what that asshole did to me?!"

"Of course I remember." Sarah sighed. "But that doesn't mean he doesn't deserve to know. And it doesn't mean he has no right to be angry with you for not telling him when you first found out."

"Whatever." Hayley sighed angrily. She was more angry at the fact that this incident made her realize she really did have to tell Josh - and soon - than she was at the fact that Sarah was pushing her.

"Just take me home please." She mumbled.

Just a little something to make Hayley realize she needs to tell Josh :)

Next chapter will be better, I swear. *evil grin* !