Breathe For Love

This is in two parts again, because A) it would be ridiculously long if I kept this all as one chapter and B) because I’m mean like that :D

“Josh.” Hayley whispered. “Wakey wakey!” She giggled, poking his side gently.

“Noooo.” Josh groaned. He rolled away from her and sighed in his semi-awake state. “Come on, you have to get up.” She whispered. “Last day of work for the summer, remember?” She added. She kissed his neck softly and felt him tense up beneath her.

“That is how you wake a guy up.” Josh mumbled happily. It had been too long since she had kissed his neck like that. He pulled her head up to his gently and kissed her.

“Daddy!” Ethan called from outside.

“And that is why I never get woken up like this.” Josh pouted. Hayley giggled and rolled away before Ethan came barging in.

“Daddy! No mow school!” Ethan yelped excitedly. Josh helped him onto the bed and smiled.

“That’s right!” He praised. “We get to spend all day together tomorrow.”

“Momma too.” Ethan said.

“No, baby, I have to work.” Hayley repeated for at least the tenth time. Ethan frowned and crossed his arms.

“Hey! We’ll have a boy’s day.” Josh smiled.

“Boy stay?” Ethan pondered.

“Just you and me.” Josh explained. “And we can do something special for Mommy while she’s at work.”

“Yeah!” Ethan said excitedly. “Boy stay!” Hayley laughed and rested her head on top of Ethan’s lightly.

“Remind me why he still has to go to daycare this summer?” Josh asked with a small frown. “I can watch him.”

“Because he has to stay with his friends.” Hayley said. “You want to see Catherine don’t you Eth?”

“Cafwine!” Ethan grinned happily. “Cafwine is my fwiend.”

“Ah, right, he has to ‘socialize’ like a normal kid.” Josh said, rolling his eyes sarcastically.

“He does.” Hayley replied. She kissed her boys and crawled out of bed to take a quick shower.

The second she stood up, a wave of nausea swept over her. Why did seafood always mess with her stomach the morning after she ate it? She pressed her hand to her head and took a few deep breaths, willing herself not to vomit all over the cream carpet in the bedroom.

“You alright?” Josh asked with a frown when he saw her. Hayley nodded and forced a smile.

“Yeah.” She replied when she gained control over the nausea. “Yeah, just got dizzy for a minute.” She ruffled Ethan’s hair to show the toddler she was fine and hurried to the bathroom for her shower.

~*~

“Jenny, I have fifteen minutes until my next appointment gets here, I’m just going to grab something to eat. Let me know if someone calls.” Hayley said, talking to her coworker.

“Sure thing.” Jenny replied. Hayley walked across the small salon she worked in and entered the break room.

“What is that smell?” Hayley said, scrunching her nose.

“Oh, that’s my burrito, sorry.” Tamera, another coworker, explained. Hayley curled her lip slightly and opened the refrigerator to find her lunch.

As the smell of burrito buried itself deeper in her nose, Hayley began to feel a bit queasy and she had to fan herself a bit as the room suddenly felt overly warm. Although, her reaction wasn’t normally quite this bad, she hadn’t been able to stand the scent of burritos since she had been pregnant with Ethan.

Hayley froze, her hand halfway to the brown paper bag that contained her lunch. Maybe the nausea this morning hadn’t been because of the seafood she’d had the previous night. She stood up straight again and began counting in her head. How many weeks had it been since that amazing night with Josh…

Before she could finish counting she had to run for the bathroom as the nausea overpowered her. She slammed the door to the small bathroom behind her and fell to her knees in front of the toilet. She didn’t think she had ever been so excited to be sick.

~*~

“I want Mommy.” Ethan pouted.

“Well that’s too bad, you’re stuck with Daddy tonight.” Josh sighed. Hayley had been acting odd all night and had asked Josh to deal with getting Ethan to sleep while she ‘caught up on a few things’.

Ethan crossed his arms angrily and gave Josh his ‘I am not impressed’ look. “Read.” He demanded, dropping a book in Josh’s lap.

“Yikes! Watch where you drop things, kid.” Josh jumped, as the corner of the book dug into his thigh. “Alright, come here you little monster.” He reached out and grabbed Ethan, who had begun dancing around in small circles for no apparent reason. Ethan squealed in delight as he was dragged backward and pulled into his father’s lap. Josh opened the book and began reading over Ethan’s shoulder, encouraging his son to make up his own story as they went along.

By the end of the book, Ethan was sleeping lightly against Josh’s chest.

“Hey, Josh…”

“Shh.” Josh hushed before Hayley could finish, nodding down at the sleepy toddler. He stood up and began walking slowly toward Ethan’s bed.

“Aww.” Hayley smiled. “Come downstairs when you’re done. I have something I need to talk to you about.” Josh’s heartbeat picked up immediately and he was suddenly nervous.

“Uh, ok.” He said casually. “What is it?”

“I don’t want to say in front of the little one.” Hayley informed. “It can wait.” With that, she disappeared from the doorway and Josh could hear her light footsteps going down the stairs.

His stomach twisted in knots as he laid Ethan in bed. Hayley had been in a weird, distant mood for about a week now and they hadn’t had sex in at least a week and a half. He knew they didn’t have to have sex to have a good relationship, but it was something they did on a fairly regular basis. Lately whenever he tried to start something, Hayley would roll her eyes and push him away, complaining that she was too tired. Josh however, was starting to think that maybe she just wasn't as attracted to him anymore.

“Night Dada.” Ethan sighed quietly. Josh’s head snapped away from the doorway and he smiled at his son.

“Night EJ.” He tucked Ethan into bed and kissed his forehead gently. “Sleep tight.”

“Don’t let da beg buds… bite.” Ethan mumbled sleepily.

“Close enough.” Josh sighed with a quiet laugh. He walked to the door and shut it quietly behind him and reluctantly headed downstairs.

“Eth is all settled in for the night.” He announced. He sat in the chair across from Hayley and turned his attention to the show she was watching. She looked at him and smiled nervously before turning the television off.

“Hey! I wanted to see that!” Josh pouted. He had no idea what show was on, but anything was better than this talk Hayley wanted to have.

“Don’t try to get out of talking.” Hayley replied.

“Hayley…” Josh sighed heavily. “I know we’ve been…” He hesitated as he saw the look on her face. “Wait, you’re smiling.” Hayley nodded. “What… what kind of talk is this?”

“What did you think it was?” Hayley asked curiously.

“I don’t know…” He mumbled. “Not a fun one though. I mean, we haven’t been as… close recently as we normally are.”

Hayley rolled her eyes and shook her head with a short laugh. “I told you! I’m tired.”

“Yeah, well, you’ve been tired an awful lot lately.” Josh grumbled, voice laced with resentment.

“I have.” Hayley replied matter-of-factly. “We’re going to the doctor about that tomorrow.” She explained.

“What? What doctor?” Josh said, annoyed. Did she want them to see a stupid couples therapist or something? He didn’t think things were that bad between them. “Ok, what kind of talk are we having here, because I’m confused.” He said, a hint of anger in his voice.

“A good one. I think.” Hayley replied. Watching Josh squirm was entertaining. Though the reason behind her teasing was fear of what he would say and do when she finally admitted what was going on.

“While I was at work today… I got sick.” She said. Josh stared at her, completely and utterly confused. “And,” Hayley continued nervously, “it’s been… what… five weeks since that night?” She asked raising an eyebrow for emphasis.

“Five and a half.” Josh replied with a smile. That had been a good night…

“Men…”Hayley sighed. She sat back against the couch and waited for Josh to catch on.

“So, what does that have to do with…” Josh stopped mid-sentence and cocked his head to the side. Everything was starting to fall into place, but he was afraid to say what he thought might be going on. He didn’t want to be wrong.

“What?” Hayley asked, barely able to hide a smile.

“Are you…” Josh started. “Are you pregnant?” He finished breathlessly.

“I think I am.” She replied in a whisper, nodding slowly. She studied Josh’s face carefully, looking for any signs of emotion. She saw a flash of something that could either have been excitement or panic, but it was only a matter of milliseconds before Josh had control over his face, hiding his thoughts deep within.

“That’s why I’ve been so tired lately. When I woke up this morning I felt nauseous but I assumed it was the fish we had last night and it was just disagreeing with my stomach this morning. But then at work, Tamara had a burrito and I had to run for the bathroom to be sick. Just like when I was pregnant with Ethan. And it would explain why I’m so sore. It just makes sense. Josh, please say something.” She said in a rush. She was shaking with nerves now.

“Uh.” He stumbled. “I uh…” His face was blank. He needed an escape route. And fast.

It wasn’t long before his prayers were answered and Ethan began sobbing from upstairs, calling for his mother.

“I got it.” Josh said quickly. Before he had even finished speaking, he was hurrying for the stairs.

“Joshua Neil!” Hayley yelled after him.

“I’ll be back!” He called over his shoulder. “Then we’ll… figure this out.” He added before he jogged up the stairs.

“You have got to be fucking KIDDING ME!” Hayley spat in frustration. She felt like she was suffering a major case of déjà vu. She told Josh she was pregnant and off he ran. Exactly the same as it had been about three and a half years ago.

“Asshole.” Hayley fumed quietly.

Oh Josh… :|

I’ll update soon, I promise!