Breathe For Love

Part one is more for background than anything. Part two will be more interesting, I promise. :)

When You Live (Part 1)

I took a deep breath and stared at my phone. I had to be in the right mood before I called or she would say no. She always said no. I don’t even know why I tried anymore.

What had changed between us? What could I possibly have done to make her avoid me like this? I had gone through every single interaction we’d had in the past few months and came up with nothing that stood out.

It couldn’t be the time I didn’t hand over the remote when she wanted it, could it? No, she wasn’t that petty.

“Dude, just call her, she has to say yes some time.” My younger brother spoke up. My head snapped up from the phone in my hands and I saw Jon standing in my doorway. I threw a pillow at him with a laugh, and dialed her number.

“Hello?” She answered.

I could tell she hadn’t really wanted to answer. She sounded very detached. Usually she was happy when we talked over the phone, you could always tell she was smiling. It killed me to hear her like this.

“Hello?” She repeated.

“Uh, hey!” I said as cheerfully as I could. “What’s up?”

“Nothing.” She replied flatly. I frowned. It wasn’t going to happen today. She was going to say no. Again.

“So, do you want to do anything today?” I asked anyway, even though I knew the answer.

“Uh, I’m kinda busy today.” She said quietly. Lie.

“Oh, come on, Hayley!” I groaned. “We both know you’re not busy. Why wont you hang out with me? What did I do?”

“Josh, I just can’t ok?” She replied angrily.

“Will you at lest stop lying and tell me why?” I asked, raising my voice slightly.

“…Hayley?” I said curiously after she didn’t reply. I looked at my phone to see “Call Ended” flashing across the screen. I sighed and fell backward onto my bed.

“Maybe tomorrow.” I muttered. I said that every day. I was starting to think that “tomorrow” would never come.
I grabbed my phone and opened a new text message window.

You can’t avoid me forever you know. I typed. I sent it to Hayley, slipped the phone in my pocket, and headed downstairs in search of food.

Halfway down the stairs, my phone buzzed, alerting that I had a new text.

Not trying to. I just need …space I guess. I frowned. Why did she need space? We had been home for a month now and she had hung out with Jeremy nearly every day. I know she had seen Zac and Taylor a few times too, whether they admitted it or not. Why did she still need space from me?

~*~

I picked up my phone and dialed her number again. This was quickly becoming an annoying daily routine. If she said no this time, I was giving up. And this time, I’m serious.

“Hello?” She said in that same resistant voice.

“Hi.” I said, defeated. “You know the drill.”

“So do you.” She replied.

“Ok, ok, wait.” I said quickly before she had a chance to hang up.

“What?” She sighed, frustrated.

“This is the last time I’m calling.” I said firmly. “I know you’re not busy. All you’re doing here is losing a friend.” She didn’t immediately respond, but I could tell she was thinking about how to approach her reply.

“I’m meeting Jerm for lunch. Meet me downtown. I’ll call you when we’re done eating.” She said quietly. I grinned. It was obvious that she didn’t really want to see me, but this was a start. Maybe I could find out what was bothering her.

“Ok.” I replied. “See you soon.”

So far, hanging out with Hayley was pretty awkward. Neither of us said much and when we did speak, we stuck to broad subjects, like the freaking weather, that wouldn’t cause any upset.

As we walked by a water fountain downtown I smiled. “Hey Hayles, remember that time we dared Zac to jump in the fountain?”

“Yes!” She laughed. “Oh my gosh! That was hilarious! I never would have thought he was be capable of running that fast.”

“Hey! He had to outrun that policeman!” I defended with a laugh. Hayley smiled and, finally, visibly relaxed.

“Josh!” She gasped suddenly. She pointed to a building and grinned.

“Lets do it!” She said, grabbing my shoulder in excitement. Well, at least she was opening up to me now. Maybe everything would be ok after all.

“Please?” She begged. “We always said we would.” I looked away as she gave me her best puppy-dog eyes. That look could kill.

I stared at the tattoo parlor in front of us and frowned, playing with my lip ring with my tongue. It was a habit that I needed to kick. I always played with my lip ring when I was thinking or when I was nervous. And it always gave me away.

“No.” I said finally. “My mom would kill me and I’d probably regret it someday.”

“Joooosh!” She wailed. “Come on! You know your mom wouldn’t kill you and you wont regret it, I promise.”

“I dunno Hayles…” I replied, walking away slowly. She sighed, probably rolling er eyes as well, and jogged to catch up with me.

“You, sir, have a problem.” She announced as she reached my side.

“Do I now?” I raised an eyebrow, intrigued. She placed her arm around my waist as we walked and rested her head on my shoulder.

Damn, she smelled good. It drove me mad whenever she got this close. She never did this to any other guys… why did I have to be the “lucky” one?

I shook of the thoughts and placed my arm across her shoulders, waiting for an explanation.

“Yes.” She replied. “You need to just… go wild! For one day. Stop over thinking everything, do whatever you want. Don’t think about what other people would say. Listen to your heart, not your mind. Live in the moment!” She grinned excitedly. I stopped walking and turned to face her with a lopsided smile.

“Hippie.” I accused.

“I am not a hippie!” She complained. “Ass.”

“Oh I know you didn’t just call me an ass!” I replied, resting my hand on my hip and moving my head exaggeratedly.

“Well your butt is big enough to warrant the nickname.” She shot back. My jaw dropped in mock hurt.

“At least I can go on the big kids rides at the fair.” I smirked, patting her head gently.

“Oh, now you’ve done it, Farro!” She grinned. She ran forward and shoved me, sending me flying backward toward a water fountain.

“Oh-ho! You wanna fight?” I grinned. She raised her hands in front of her, balling her hands into tiny fists and laughed. I stepped forward and she turned to run. I grabbed her around the waist and stole her sunglasses.

“Josh!” She squealed, jumping up to reach them.

“Oh nice! Keep away!” Zac yelled from somewhere behind me. That was the cool thing about Franklin, it was big enough to always be meeting new people, but small enough that you could easily run in to friends, or, in this case, family.

“Catch!” I yelled, tossing the sunglasses behind me. Hayley took off for Zac, but not before punching me lightly in the chest as punishment.

“Hey, watch it!” A man called as Zac backed up into him.

“Sorry dude!” Zac called over his shoulder. “Josh!” He called, throwing the glasses back to me.

“Childish morons.” The man muttered as he passed me. I cleared my throat and let my hands fall to my side. Hayley snatched the glasses from my hand and threw her hands over her head victoriously.

“I win!” She grinned.

“Uh huh.” I replied.

“Josh! What the hell?” Zac complained. Hayley cocked her head to the side.

“Yeah, wait, what the hell? Why did you let me win?” She asked.

“We’re acting like kids, we’re not kids.” I pointed out.

“Josh, we act like this all the time.” Zac laughed.

“At home.” I laughed. “Not in public. Out here, we’re adults.”

Hayley rolled her eyes. “Killjoy.” She muttered. “Loosen up for once.”

Part 2 soon